


A Place For You and Me

by NuwandaSnicket



Series: Carry On [3]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: AU, Alternate Universe - College/University, Alternate Universe - High School, Alternate Universe- No Supernatural, Angst, Ballet, Ballet Dancer Dean, Drabbles, F/F, Fluff, Gift Giving, Humor, John Winchester's A+ Parenting, M/M, Panty Kink, Past Domestic Violence, Seriously fluff, Slice of Life, Smut, Underage Prostitution, lots of fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-01-08
Updated: 2015-07-24
Packaged: 2018-03-06 15:28:49
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 21,529
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3139397
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/NuwandaSnicket/pseuds/NuwandaSnicket
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>A collection of drabbles connected to 'Every Color in the World' and 'Say it Again for Me'.</p><p>***Since this is drabbles, it may still be added to, even though the story is listed as 'complete'. Subscribe if you are interested in seeing any more that may come, and as always, I take requests!!***</p><p>I make this world a place for you and me<br/>I make your happiness my responsibility<br/>To make this world the world you want to see<br/>I'll do anything</p><p>When I see the light upon your upturned face<br/>I can hear the angels sing<br/>To see that no one ever takes my place<br/>I'll do anything</p><p>~Jackson Browne, 'I'll do Anything'</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Only Human

**Author's Note:**

  * For [starship_destiel](https://archiveofourown.org/users/starship_destiel/gifts).

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'm only human  
> And I bleed when I fall down  
> I'm only human  
> And I crash and I break down  
> Your words in my head, knives in my heart  
> You build me up and then I fall apart  
> 'Cause I'm only human.  
> ~'Human', Christina Perri

**TAKES PLACE IN COLLEGE**

It was a gorgeous October day, that time of year where it was still warm enough that you only needed a light jacket but cool enough that you got that breeze that was distinctly autumn. Copper and crimson leaves tumbled across the grass, sunlight slanting through the trees as the boys ran across the soccer field.

Cas sat in the bleachers, watching happily. He generally worked on Saturdays but he had managed to swap with Rebecca. It was nice to be able to see Dean play an afternoon game. As the season progressed, most games would take place after school and it would get darker and darker, not to mention colder. Cas much preferred watching him during the day, when he could see everything clearly, every little detail. He loved the expression on Dean’s face, that look of extreme concentration. It was adorable and sexy all at once.

He had a thermos of hot cider with him. It still wasn’t cold enough that it was really necessary (as the days got colder he always made sure to have cider, tea, or cocoa with him, as well as cold water for right after the game), but Dean loved it, so he always made sure to bring it. In the bag beside him he had the scarf Dean had made for him, along with a matching pair of mittens Dean had made him this past Christmas, just in case it ended up cold enough to use them. So far he was fine just warming his hands on the mug of cider.

Suddenly, the soccer ball flew high, right towards Dean. It hit him in the upper right arm, hard. A look of surprise flitted across Dean's face, quickly replaced by one of intense pain as he crumpled to the earth.

Cas was out of his seat in an instant, the thermos of cider slipping from his hands. Dean had a higher tolerance for pain than anyone he'd ever met. Just getting hit with a ball shouldn't have provoked such a reaction. Something had to have happened. "Dean!" He was at Dean’s side without even registering crossing the field.

Dean squinted up at Cas, green eyes filled with pain. "Cas." His voice was tight, the name bitten off.

Cas was outwardly calm, his body feeling numb, as if he was moving through water, but inwardly he was panicking. Dean was hurt. Dean didn’t GET hurt. This didn’t happen. Then another thought hit him. What if Dean had broken his arm? What would happen to Dean’s scholarship if he couldn’t play?

“Calm down.”

“Yes,” Cas managed. “It’ll be okay.”

The coach looked at him strangely. “I was talking to you.”

Oh. Cas somehow managed a nod. The coach’s attention returned to Dean. “Can you move it? Carefully,” he added.

Dean gingerly shifted his arm, wincing, but it moved without any difficulty or without anything shifting strangely. “Yea.”

The coach nodded. “Good. You’re still getting an x-ray.”

For some reason this seemed to upset Dean immensely. “I’m fine.”

“I think you are, too. But you’re still getting an x-ray.” Dean opened his mouth to object and the coach held up a hand, cutting off whatever protest Dean was about to make. “This isn’t up for debate, Dean. We can’t risk just assuming you’re fine and then having you end up injured later.” He looked to Castiel. “Can you drive him? Or are you still freaking out?”

Cas was definitely still upset and extremely worried, but now that he knew Dean could move his arm he was feeling somewhat relieved. “I can drive.”

“Good.” The coach slipped an arm beneath Dean’s uninjured arm, helping him to his feet. “Take him right away.” 

Cas nodded. “I will.” He took the coach’s place, supporting Dean. “I gotcha.” Together they headed towards the car, though Dean stopped Cas as they neared the bleachers.

“Your stuff.”

Oh. Cas had forgotten all about it. He grabbed the bag.

“The thermos,” Dean pointed out.

“I can’t get that without bending over and I’d have to let you go.”

“Cas….I can stand on my own.”

Cas didn’t like it but he let Dean go, carefully, and picked up the thermos, wrapping his arm around Dean again. “Happy?”

He could hear the smile in Dean’s voice as he answered. “Very.”

Cas shook his head, helping Dean to the car. Dean winced as he slid into the passenger seat and Cas frowned. He didn’t like this at all. The sooner they got to the hospital, the better. Still, as soon as he was driving, Dean spoke up.

“Cas, we really don’t need to go to the hospital.”

“We’re going, Dean.”

“Cas—“

“Why don’t you want to go?”

But that question was answered with nothing but silence. Cas sighed. “We’re going. End of discussion.”

Dean mumbled something about it not being a discussion but a dictatorship but at least he didn’t argue anymore. 

Luckily there wasn’t much of a line in the emergency room. They only had to wait about twenty minutes before they were admitted, though Cas wasn’t allowed to go with Dean to get the x-rays. This made total sense but he didn’t have to be happy about it. 

Dean looked extremely strange when he returned. His face was….flat. Almost emotionless. Those eyes, usually so lively and bright, were dead.

“Dean?” Cas rose from his chair, moving to Dean’s side, brow creased with worry.

The doctor entered the room, x-rays in hand. He was frowning, and Cas’ heart began to pound. “What is it,” Cas demanded. “What’s wrong.”

The man, Dr. Peters, shook his head immediately. “He’s fine. Nothing’s broken.”

A wave of relief swept over Castiel, but the man wasn’t done. He flipped through some papers, perusing them. Cas realized they were Dean’s medical records. Dr. Peters looked to Dean. “Did you ever break your arm before?”

Dean flinched. Cas recognized that flinch. It was the way Dean reacted whenever he was reminded of his past…..of his father. “No,” he answered quickly, curtly.

The doctor looked puzzled. “It’s not here on your records, but by all accounts your arm….well, it looks as if you broke it once before and it was set incorrectly…..healed wrong.”

Dean’s face was shutting down, he was closing off. “I never broke it.”

The doctor shrugged. “Okay. Well as I said, nothing is broken. There’s just that one spot that looks as if it was broken previously--”

“I just said I never broke it before!” Dean snapped angrily. Cas and the doctor stared at him in surprise.

“….I simply said it looked that way,” the man said slowly. “And it’s just that that spot is, for some reason, weak. As if it had been injured previously.” He moved closer and gestured to the area, making a circle with one finger around the weak spot. “So you need to be careful with this part of your arm. Another hard hit to it and it MAY break. Understand?”

Dean gave a tight nod. “Okay,” Dr. Peters said. “Go home and alternate ice and heat, and take it easy. Try to go easy on that arm for a few days.” He gathered the x-rays and papers. “That’s it, gentlemen.”

Dean was silent; Cas gave the man a smile. “Thank you.” The doctor nodded at him and left.

Dean still said nothing. Cas reached out to touch his shoulder and Dean flinched. Cas wasn’t put off; he rubbed Dean’s shoulder soothingly. “Come on. Let’s get you dressed and home.”

Dean slid off the examination table and slipped out of the hospital gown. He pulled on his soccer shorts easily enough but when it came time for the shirt he winced. Cas moved to help him and he snapped “I can do it!” Cas simply ignored him and continued helping, easing his arms gently through the shirt holes. He knew Dean was reliving some horrible part of his past and he wasn’t going to hold him accountable for anything he said at this moment. He knelt down and helped Dean with his shoes, rising to slip a supportive arm around Dean.

“Come on,” he said softly. “Let’s go.”

Dean was silent the entire car ride home and all the way into the house, going straight into the bedroom and shutting the door. Cas simply let him go, staying in the living room. He knew Dean needed some space and he would give it to him. Not for long, for he knew that leaving Dean alone with his memories was never good, but if Dean wanted a few minutes alone, he would let him have them.

About ten minutes later, Cas knocked softly on the bedroom door. “Dean?” There was, as expected, no answer. “Dean, I’m coming in.”

Dean was sitting on the bed, hand clutching his injured arm. Cas was at his side in an instant. “Dean, stop it! You’re making it worse!” Dean’s fingers were digging in so hard they were turning white. “DEAN!” He managed to pry Dean’s hand loose and Dean sort of crumpled in on himself, hands falling to his lap, arms hanging loosely as if he were a puppet whose strings had been cut.

Cas couldn’t stand seeing Dean like this. “…Dean…” He sat on the bed beside him, wanting to touch but unsure if he should. “….Dean, what’s wrong.” He reached out and gently stroked Dean’s hair. “Will you tell me what’s wrong?”

Dean was silent for a very long time, unmoving. Cas waited. Dean may not speak at all, but Cas was willing to wait until he was ready, whether that be two minutes from now or tomorrow afternoon. Finally, ten minutes later, Dean opened his mouth.

“I _did_ break my arm.” His voice was so soft, tiny. “I was eleven.”

Cas didn’t speak, simply continued to run his fingers soothingly through Dean’s hair, silently letting Dean know he was there for him, encouraging him to continue. 

“We had just moved to Minnesota. We’d only been there a day and Sammy…..Sammy disappeared. Dad was at work…actually had a real job for once…..and I was in charge. I was supposed to watch Sammy. And he ran away. I was in the shower for five minutes and he vanished.” Dean’s voice was wooden as he told the story, eyes staring straight ahead with that same dead look they’d had at the hospital, the way only the truly wounded look. 

“I searched _everywhere_ for him,” Dean continued. “Tried so hard to find him. But I couldn’t. He wasn’t anywhere. And I mean we were surrounded by woods. There wasn’t anywhere to go. I thought he was dead.” The barest shake of a head. “I swear to God I thought he was dead.” He was clearly reliving every minute of the event. Cas’ heart ached. He was positive he knew what was coming next.

“Finally I went home. It was dark….and dad was home. He was so mad that we weren’t there…..and then I had to tell him about Sammy….” Cas could barely hear Dean’s voice any longer, it was so tiny. “He was furious. Grabbed my arm. Wrenched it. I felt it snap…..God, it hurt so fucking bad.”

Cas’ eyes were burning, hot tears running down his cheeks. “But…it wasn’t in your medical records.”

Dean shook his head. “Didn’t take me to the hospital. Said for what I’d done I didn’t deserve a doctor. Set it himself and wrapped it up.” A hollow laugh. “Guess that’s why it healed wrong.”

And Cas couldn’t help it; he was pulling Dean into his arms, holding him tight. He had known John Winchester was a terrible person but this? Dean had never told him his father had abused him. He could feel Dean’s surprise at the sudden embrace but he couldn’t help it. Dean should be cherished, not hated and hurt. “Did he hurt you often?” He couldn’t help but ask, though he hated himself for it when he felt Dean flinch in his arms.

“…..depends what you mean by ‘often’.” God, Cas was gonna lose it. “Not so much when I got older and bigger. And never in front of Sammy. Sammy was the last piece of mom he had left. Had to protect Sammy.” Cas could hear a hint of relief in Dean’s voice at that. “So he never hit Sammy. Thank God.”

“But he hit _you_.” Cas couldn’t get past that, would _never_ get past that.

Dean shook his head. “It’s nothing.” Though by his reactions today and in his voice Cas could tell that he wasn’t over it, that it clearly was something. Still, just hearing Dean deny it upset Cas so much.

“It is NOT nothing!” 

Dean pulled back so he could see Cas, and surprise registered in his eyes when he saw the tears rolling down Cas’ cheeks. “Hey.” He brushed away a tear with his thumb, smiling. “ _I’m_ the one with the injured arm…. _I_ should be the one crying.”

Cas couldn’t help a broken laugh, scrubbing at the tears on his face. “I’m sorry.”

Dean shook his head, brushing away another tear. “Such a dweeb.”

“Am not.” Cas cupped Dean’s face in his hands. “I love you. I don’t want to see you hurt. I don’t even want you hurt past-tense.” That made Dean huff a laugh, press a kiss to Cas’ mouth.

“Silly,” he murmured.

“Am not. You’re mine and you’re beautiful and I love you. And no one is ever going to hurt you again. EVER.”

The corner of Dean’s mouth quirked up in that crooked smile that Cas loved so much. “Promise?”

Cas nodded, a fierce thing that made Dean simultaneously amused and full of adoration. “Promise.”

“Even stray soccer balls?” Dean teased. 

Cas huffed a laugh. “I’ll do my best.” He poked Dean’s belly right where he was most ticklish; Dean swatted at his hand. “We should get you changed into some pajamas….get that ice.”

“Oh yea.” Dean rose from the bed, kicking off his shoes; Cas helped him out of his shirt. 

“Hey,” Cas said, running his hands over Dean’s bare chest. “You never did tell me where Sam was.”

Dean’s eyes had been shut in pleasure at the feeling of Cas’ hands on his bare flesh; now they flew open and he rolled them. “Little douchebag found an empty hunting cabin and spent three days there sulking over moving yet again.”

Cas stared. “You’re kidding me.”

“I am so not.”

Cas couldn’t help it; he burst into laughter. “I am SO giving him hell over that when I see him next.”

“Please do.”

With Dean now in his pajamas, Cas helped him into bed. “You know,” he said, tucking Dean in, “the doctor said you’re supposed to rest that arm for a couple days.”

Dean cocked a brow. “Yea? So?”

“Well, I think you should take it a step further and rest EVERYTHING. As in spend more of your time in bed. A LOT more.”

Understanding registered on Dean’s face and he smiled. “Oh? You gonna take care of me?”

Cas climbed into bed beside Dean, the ice forgotten as he crawled into the man’s lap. “The _best_ of care.”

“Well, then.” Dean reached for Cas, hands slipping into that messy hair he loved so much. “I think we’d better get started.”

Cas leaned in, a wicked smile on his face as he murmured “with pleasure.”

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I apologize for the angst factor but I had the idea and then heard the lovely song and it's just SO DEAN!


	2. Ballet for Beginners

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> My only drabble request, from starship_destiel. <3 Hopefully I didn't massacre the ballet TOO much, after the books I got out and reading up I did.  
> Which, btdubs, the title of this drabble comes from the title of one of the books I read for study. :P

****TAKES PLACE DURING SUMMER BREAK AFTER SOPHOMORE YEAR OF COLLEGE****

They had been home from college for two whole days now. Time enough to see Charlie and Benny and all the rest of them. Time enough to spend with Sammy and Jo and Gabriel, Ellen and Bobby and Chuck. It was hard to split the time between each house, since both their families wanted to see them. It meant spending time apart, which they hated, but they DID live together every day at school, so they smiled and dealt with it. It’s not like they wouldn’t be seeing plenty of each other soon enough when they got back, and every day after that, long into the future, for the rest of their lives. That was the plan, anyway.

Dean entered the Novak house the same way as he always did: without knocking. There was no chance of running into Gabriel today; he had taken Sam and Jo out for ice cream. “Cas?”

“He’s in the basement.” Chuck’s voice called from his office. Dean was completely shocked to hear him. When Chuck was in his office he was always completely dead to the world. He poked his head into the office.

“Hey, Chuck.”

Sure enough, Chuck was at his desk, but he wasn’t typing. He was slouched low in the chair, a mug of coffee in hand. Clearly he was taking a break, and he smiled at Dean. “Hello, Dean.”

“So….he’s downstairs?” Chuck nodded. “Thanks.” He gestured to the computer. “Good luck with the book.”

Chuck smiled. “Thanks. Wouldn’t mind having you pose for more cover art.” Dean blushed at that.

“Sure, Chuck. Just tell Cas what you’re looking for and we’ll work on that.”

“Thanks, Dean.”

“No problem.” With a little wave Dean left Chuck’s office and headed for the basement. He could hear the TV playing as he headed down the stairs and the music sounded familiar. Sure enough, Cas was sitting in front of the television, eyes locked on the flickering screen as the videotape of Dean’s recital played.

“….Cas?”

Cas must have heard him coming for he didn’t jump in surprise, simply looked up with a smile. “Hey, baby.”

Dean sat beside him. “Why’re you watching this again?” For Cas had watched it several times, Dean knew this for a fact. Gabriel had told him, teasing the both of them over it.

Cas shrugged his shoulders. “I just….” He trailed off and when he spoke again his voice was wistful. “You two look so beautiful together.”

Dean felt surprise hit him. “….Cas……are you jealous of Cindy?”

“No! I just….” Cas watched the screen, the two dancers moving together. “…..I wish I could move with you like that.” His voice was extremely quiet.

Dean just watched him silently. Cas didn’t look at him, his face in profile as he continued to look at the screen. Finally Dean rose to his feet, offering a hand to Cas. Cas looked questioningly from Dean’s hand to his face. “Come with me.”

Cas obeyed, taking Dean’s hand and letting himself be pulled to his feet and led up the stairs. He followed silently until they got outside, where his curiosity finally got the best of him. “Dean, where are we going?”

Dean nodded to the car. “Get in.”

So without any answers, Cas found himself being driven to Dean’s house and led downstairs to the basement that had long ago been transformed into Dean’s room. Or partially transformed. The basement was huge, far bigger than Dean needed for his bed, desk, and dresser. There was still a ton of empty space, even with the pool table there. It was somewhere in the middle of this empty space that Dean left Cas standing, bewildered, while he went to fish around in his closet.

“Dean, really, what are we….” But his voice trailed off as Dean turned around to face him and he saw what was in his hands. For Dean was holding his dance bag. Cas had no idea what Dean planned on doing with that, but anytime the ballet bag came out was good.

Dean smiled, unzipping it. “We’re gonna do some dancing.” Cas’ eyes widened in surprise.

“You mean……us? You and me?” Dean nodded.

“You want to, don’t you?” And now his face took on a nervous edge, which surprised Cas. Dean was worried that Cas didn’t want to dance with him. Dean _wanted_ to do this. Cas smiled and nodded somewhat hesitantly.

“…ah….yes. Yes I do.” The smile Dean gave him positively lit up his face; he pulled a pair of shoes out of his bag and offered them to Cas. 

“My extra ones.” He shrugged with a smile. “They’ll be a bit too big I’m sure, but it’ll be easier to move in them.” 

Cas took the shoes, kicking off his own and, after a moment’s consideration, slipping them on over his socks. The extra padding made them fit pretty decently. He heard Dean chuckle and looked up. “Good idea,” Dean said.

“Thanks.”

In the meantime Dean had slipped off his own shoes and was tugging on his slippers; they fit him perfectly, and Cas would never get over how gorgeous he looked in them. Straightening up, he smiled at Cas. “You ready?”

Cas nodded, despite the flutter of nervousness he felt. “Ready.”

“Oh. Music.” Dean pulled a cd out of his dance bag and moved to the entertainment center, setting it in to play. He offered his hand to Cas with a smile. “C’mere, baby.” Hesitantly Cas took his hand, completely at a loss. He had watched Dean more times than he could count but he had not a clue how to do one single dance step. Dean seemed to sense this anxiety and he chuckled. “Relax, Cas. Just follow my lead.” The music began and Dean pulled Cas close, guiding him. “Left leg up.” Cas complied somewhat nervously. “Little higher.” He slipped a hand beneath Cas’ leg, guiding him. “Yes, just like that.” Now that Cas had the hang of it, he put both hands to Cas’ waist, supporting him. “And my hands will go here. Arch your back. Yes, exactly.” Cas could hear the smile in Dean’s voice and he felt somewhat proud that he was doing it right. “That’s an arabesque.” He stroked Cas’ back as he guided him back down to settle again. “Now we’re gonna do a little sequence.” Cas felt his heart jump into his throat though he didn’t know why; Dean would never let him get hurt, and he wouldn’t be mean if Cas embarrassed himself.

“Leg up again, but just to about….here. Now I’m going to support you and you’re gonna spin.” Cas was nervous but he really didn’t have to put too much into it; Dean did as he said and supported Cas through the whole thing, a “pirouette” Dean told him, doing more of the work than Cas did. That was definitely good, for Cas wobbled. He would clearly never have made a dancer if he couldn’t even balance on his toes for one rotation. “Now forward into that arabesque we just did.”

Cas was tolerably sure he could remember how to do this. Unfortunately he leaned forward so fast that he nearly overbalanced. Luckily Dean was there to steady him, a hand going to Cas’ belly to catch him. Cas felt his cheeks flush but Dean didn’t tease him. “Good,” he murmured. 

“It was _terrible_ ,” Cas protested.

“Doesn’t matter. You remembered how to do it on your second try. That’s very good.”

Dean’s praise made Cas blush even more. Then he really heard the music and thought about the moves they were doing and realization set in. “This is from your piece with Cindy. The pas de deux I was watching today.”

Dean nodded. “I thought it would be easier for you to work with something you were already familiar with.” 

Cas’ body shifted as he grew accustomed to the music, relaxing slightly. He still didn’t know how to DO the steps but he was familiar with how they looked, so that put him slightly more at ease. 

Dean clearly felt the shift in Cas' body as he recognized the routine, and the next turn was executed with much more confidence. “ _Very_ good.”

Cas blushed happily. “Thanks.” He was a stumbling mess and he knew it but it was so sweet of Dean to compliment him like that.

Dean’s lips brushed Cas’ cheek in a gentle kiss. “I’m going to lift you now,” he said softly. Cas’ heart leapt.

“No! Dean, I’m too heavy!”

“No you’re not.”

Cas’ heart was pounding, torn in two. On the one hand, he wanted nothing more than for Dean to lift him. The thing that killed him most while watching Dean dance was thinking he would never be able to dance like this with Dean, never feel Dean’s hands on his waist, lifting him the way he did with the girls. But Cas was much bigger than the girls, and much heavier. “I am.”

Dean sighed. “Cas.” He pulled away enough to look Cas in the eye, those beautiful green eyes very serious. “Trust me.”

Cas could never resist those eyes. Besides…. He nodded. “I do. Always.” That made Dean smile, a warm smile that set his face aglow.

“Okay.” He ran his hand down Cas’ back. “We’re gonna go high, okay?” Again that little flutter of nervousness, but Cas nodded. “The arabesque again.”

Cas complied, a bit anxious this time when he was only supported by one of Dean’s hands as Dean crouched in front of him, his other hand supporting the leg Cas had in the air. “Now, bend your knee….good. And on the count of three, push off the ground for me, okay?” 

Cas nodded. “Okay.”

“Okay. One….two….three.” 

Cas gave a little push up and then Dean was lifting him and he was high in the air above Dean’s head. He had expected to be scared but he wasn’t. Dean’s hands were strong beneath him, cradling him, and he had no fear of falling. He felt as if he were flying. “Oh, Dean,” he whispered.

“You okay?” God, Dean didn’t even sound winded, and Cas couldn’t help but be impressed with how strong his boyfriend was.

“Fine. I’m fine. This…..God. This is _amazing_.” He could hear Dean chuckle breathlessly.

“Good. I---“ but Dean was interrupted by the sound of footsteps galumphing down the stairs.

“Cas! Dean! What’re you---“ It was Gabriel. Clearly he, Jo and Sam had arrived home from their trip. But he stopped dead when he saw the two boys, his eyes going huge at the sight of Cas high in the air. He was silent for all of three seconds and then he burst into laughter. Cas had been expecting nothing less; he rolled his eyes as Dean carefully lowered him to the ground. “OH MY GOD!”

“Yeah yeah, Gabe. Get it all out of your system.”

“That’ll take DAYS.” Gabriel was grinning. “You make such a pretty ballerina, Cas.”

Dean grabbed a throw pillow off the nearby bed and chucked it at Gabriel. “Get out of here!”

Gabriel ducked the pillow and headed upstairs, laughing all the way. Now alone again, the two boys looked at each other. Dean was both frustrated and worried, so worried that Gabriel had upset Cas. "This.....that didn't ruin it for you, did it?"

Cas was shocked by the question. "Are you kidding me? Dean, this......this was magical."

All worry melted from Dean’s face; he broke into a smile, pulling Cas close and kissing him. “I’m so glad,” he murmured. Then he grinned. "Next time I'll teach you the lift from _‘Dirty Dancing.'_ ”

Cas burst into laughter, loud and long. “I’m gonna hold you to that.”

Dean gave him a kiss, murmuring “please do.”

 

**~fin~**


	3. Shopping Trip

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Dean and Cas hit up Victoria's Secret.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is for rad_tad_hamilton, who requested it!

****THIS TAKES PLACE DURING 'EVERY COLOR IN THE WORLD', AFTER CHUCK'S BOOK LAUNCH****

 

“So….here we are.”

Somehow Dean managed a nod. “Here we are.”

The store was bigger than he expected, and almost EVERYTHING was pink. He didn’t know what it was about _Victoria’s Secret_ , but everything was pink. He knew it was their brand but did they need to make _everything_ that color?

He realized Cas was watching him with concern. “What.”

“You sure you wanna do this?”

Dean nodded rapidly. “Yea. Yea, I want to. I definitely want to.” Cas smiled.

“Okay, then.” He knew Dean was unsettled, that he felt nervous about people watching them. Cas doubted two boys shopping for lingerie together was an everyday occurrence. He stroked Dean’s cheek, leaning in to give him a gentle kiss. “It’s okay,” he said softly. “And if at any point you get uncomfortable, just tell me and we’ll leave….okay?”

A tiny smile had come over Dean’s face at those words; he nodded. “Yea.” He reached down for Cas’ hand, slotting their fingers together and giving it a squeeze. “Let’s go.”

The store really was huge, and the amount of choices was staggering. There weren’t just panties and bras, there were all sorts of nighties and other assorted goodies.

Cas reached into a rack and pulled out an emerald corset with a black lace overlay, holding it up to Dean with a smile. “I’d love to see you in this.”

Dean’s eyes widened. “You….. _really?_ ” Cas nodded, and a flush crept up into Dean’s cheeks. “We….we could maybe try that.”

Cas felt heat tugging at his groin. “Really?” Dean nodded, eyes lowered almost shyly beneath his lashes. Oh God, that was cute. Cas smiled, moving closer until they were nearly nose to nose. “Get you a pair of matching panties?”

Dean swallowed with some difficulty, and managed a nod. “Yea. That sounds good.”

Smiling, Cas draped the corset over one arm and guided Dean over to the panties, looking over all of them. "Which ones do you like?" 

Dean looked at the panties surrounding them, pieces of every style and color, and found himself completely at a loss. "....I..." He saw Cas gazing at him, a smile and a heat in those blue eyes, and he flushed. "What about you. You said there were some green ones you liked."

Cas laughed. “Well to be honest I was just teasing my dad. But I’m sure we can find a pair to match this corset. Though personally I’d like to buy more than one pair.” He arched a brow. “Your thoughts?”

Dean nodded. “I definitely agree.”

The two perused the tables of underwear, looking through every color. They found a pair that matched the corset almost exactly. After that they were less specific, moving on and picking out underwear in every color of the rainbow.

Dean looked at the pile and raised a brow. “This is a lot, isn’t it?”

Cas smiled at Dean. “One for every day of the week.”

Dean held up an eighth pair, the lacy panties dangling from one finger. “And these ones?”

Cas grinned. “For laundry day.” He pulled out his wallet but Dean stopped him.

“No.” He pushed Cas’ hand down, pushing away the wallet. “I’ll pay.”

“Dean, this was my idea, I want to treat.”

“Cas.” Dean shook his head in exasperation, a smile on his face. “ _I’m_ the one with the job. _I’m_ going to pay.” The expression on Cas’ face stated that he could concede the point, even if he didn’t want to. “It’ll be my present to you,” Dean continued. He grinned. “A nice silky one that you can unwrap and enjoy at your leisure.” 

It was impossible to miss the heat that rolled through Castiel’s eyes at that. “Oh.” His voice was no more than a whisper. “I like that.”

Dean chuckled. “I thought you might.” Cas placed the pile of lingerie on the counter. The girl there looked from the panties to the two of them, and a small smile curved across her lips. Dean blushed to see it. Cas squeezed his hand, smiling himself. He loved that blush. He didn’t think he would ever get over how adorable it was. When you first met Dean Winchester with all his confidence and sass, you would never expect him to be a blusher but he was, and it drove Cas CRAZY with how adorable it was.

Dean looked to Cas, seeing that smile, and he blushed even more, the tips of his ears turning pink. “Shut up,” he mumbled.

“I didn’t say a word.”

The cashier was clearly trying not to laugh; she returned Dean’s card to him and he put it away, shoving his wallet back in his pocket as fast as possible. He grabbed the bag from her. “Thank you.”

“You’re welcome.” She had tied the brown bag shut with a red ribbon, even going into the trouble to curl the ends. Clearly she had liked them.

Cas squeezed Dean’s hand as they walked out of the store, and Dean looked at him with a glower. “I hate you.”

“Why? Because I like seeing you blush?” Dean said nothing and Cas just chuckled. “You _love_ that I love that.”

Dean would never admit it, but it was true. He loved that there was nothing about him that Cas didn’t like. Because it was true. For some reason that he didn’t know if he would ever understand, Cas truly did love every single thing about Dean. 

“Guess it’s better than thinking I look silly,” he said at last.

Cas was grinning. “You love it.”

Dean was bright red. “Shut up or I won’t put on any of these panties when we get home!” Cas laughed but he did as he was told.

“Okay, okay.” He gave Dean’s hand a squeeze. “But if I listen and shut up, that means I better get a fashion show as soon as we get back to my place.”

Dean’s gaze was on the floor, lashes lowered becomingly, but he looked up at Cas with that lopsided smile, a bit of a wicked edge to it. “Promise.”

 

**~*~**

 

“So….which ones do you want me to try on first?”

They had gotten back to the Novak house to find it empty. This was a rare thing. Chuck was almost always in his office, hard at work. They had known he would be gone, away for the weekend at a writer’s convention. They _hadn’t_ known Gabriel would be absent, though. This gave them the whole house to themselves.

Dean had spread all their purchases out on Cas’ mattress and was surveying them. “Well?” He glanced at Cas. “Which ones do you think?”

Cas joined Dean at the bedside. The blonde was biting his lower lip pensively. It was beyond cute. “Honestly?” Dean nodded. Cas bent down to pick up the matching corset and panty set, holding them up with a smile. “I wanna see you in these.”

“I….yea.” Dean didn’t seem so much shy as eager. He took the clothes from Cas’ hands, fumbling with them. Cas stroked his cheek, smiling. “….you gonna draw me again?”

Oh. Somehow Cas hadn’t even thought about that. “Do you want me to?”

Dean nodded. “I mean, you don’t have to right now if you don’t want to. But I liked that last time. It was nice. And now there’s this…” He gestured to the corset he held in his arms. Cas’ smile grew; he stepped closer, both hands trailing over the silky fabric Dean held.

“Yes. I think a drawing of you in a corset would be quite lovely.”

There it was, _there_ was the blush. “I’m gonna get changed now.”

“Okay. You do that.”

Castiel couldn’t help but watch as Dean changed, stripping out of his tight jeans and formfitting t-shirt and casting them aside, hesitating only slightly before slipping his boxer briefs to the floor.

_God_ , he was so gorgeous, the perfect balance of slim and muscular. Cas would never get over watching the way the muscles in Dean’s back rippled when he moved. It drove him crazy with desire.

But now Dean was stepping into the tiny satin panties. He looked somewhat self-conscious, the way he always did whenever he first put on a pair of women’s underwear, as though he weren’t certain he should like this, or that _Cas_ was going to like it. Castiel couldn’t help wondering if part of that was John’s influence, making Dean question himself. He wouldn’t be surprised. But thank God it never lasted long. After Dean had been in the panties for a few moments he always relaxed, completely happy and at ease, and Cas loved it. Loved to see Dean letting himself truly take time to enjoy something he obviously liked.

Dean had the corset on now, doing up all the tiny clasps that went up the front. When he was finished he turned to Cas. “Well?” He held out his arms, putting himself on display. “What do you think?”

Cas’ sketchbook fell through his fingers, landing in a messy pile on the floor. He couldn’t find words, simply staring at Dean with wide eyes, mouth slightly agape. “…..wow,” he managed at last.

Dean blushed. “Good wow?”

Cas nodded. “ _Definitely_ a good wow.” He stepped forward, running his hands up Dean’s chest, relishing in the feel of the satin spread over that firm muscle. “ _God_ , Dean, you’re so fucking sexy.”

Dean’s cheeks were stained pink; he looked to the ground with a smile. “…..you dropped your sketchbook.”

“Fuck the sketchbook.” Cas pushed Dean back, holding him at arm’s length to get another look. “ _Fuck_.” Dean couldn’t help a little laugh. Cas twirled one finger in a circle. “Give me a little spin, baby.”

Dean did as he was told, stepping away from Cas and giving his best twirl, nice and slow so that Cas had time to take it all in. 

Cas’ eyes roved over Dean’s body. There was so much damn skin showing, gorgeous tanned skin, and _God_ Dean had such long legs! Cas thought about how it felt having them wrapped around him while they made love, Dean clinging to him, and oh fuck.

He hadn’t even gotten to the main attraction yet and it was almost too much to handle. If he hadn’t dropped his sketchbook already, he definitely would have now. Those emerald green panties with their overlay of black lace hugged Dean so well. _Too_ well. Cas was desperately trying to tear his gaze away so he could look at the rest but he was having difficulty. Seeing that satin hug the curve of Dean’s ass, cling to the hard outline of his cock? It was far too fucking distracting.

But God was he glad when he managed to move on, for that corset was _perfect_. He hadn’t been certain how well it would fit, since it had been made for someone rather more voluptuous than Dean, but the blonde had managed to cinch the laces tight enough in the back that it fit him like a glove. 

Dean was watching, waiting expectantly. “Well?”

Cas slipped an arm around Dean’s waist, pulling him into a kiss. “You look _so_ fucking gorgeous, baby.”

Dean blushed happily. “Thanks.” He glanced at Cas’ sketchbook where it lay on the floor. “You gonna draw me now?”

Cas shook his head. “No.”

Dean’s eyebrows went up. “No?”

“No.” Cas steered Dean backwards towards the bed. “I’m going to fuck you.”

Laughing, Dean let himself be shoved backwards, flopping onto his back on top of the pile of undergarments scattered across the mattress. “Well, I can’t say I object to the change in plans.”

“Good.” Cas crawled onto the bed on all fours, pinning Dean. He traced a hand down the front of the corset. It was somewhat frustrating, not to be able to feel skin, but it was a _nice_ frustrating, a tease. He reached lower, one fingertip slipping beneath the thin waistband of the panties and tugging. Dean’s breath caught; his hands gripped Cas’ shoulders. 

“Cas…”

“Yes?” Cas’ voice was deliberately innocent. Dean scowled at him. 

“Don’t tease.”

“What….you want me to take these panties off you?”

“Yes.” The answer was so abrupt that Cas had to bite his lip to hold back his laughter.

“But you just put them on!”

“You said you were going to fuck me. You can’t fuck me with them on. So if you intend to follow through, you better get them off.”

Smiling, Cas leaned in for a kiss, murmuring “you make a very valid point.” He flattened his hand against Dean’s groin, palming the hardness there. Dean gasped, bucking up into the touch.

“ _Fuck!_ Cas!”

“Mm?”

Dean was biting his lip, trying to hold back his whimpers, but he couldn’t stop himself from rocking up into Castiel’s touch. “Stop. Teasing!”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh, giving Dean a soft, filthy kiss, sucking languidly at his lower lip. “As you wish.” He pulled away, sitting back on his haunches, and took a good look at Dean. The blonde was flushed, down his throat and onto his chest. God, he _loved_ that Dean blushed so much. That blush vanished beneath the gorgeous green corset. It was lovely. 

Cas worked his way down, hooking his fingers in the waistband of the panties and giving a gentle tug. Dean worked with him, raising his hips to help Cas pull the panties off, wriggling out of them. Cas held them up to admire them once again. “They really are lovely,” he observed. His gaze turned to Dean and he smiled, casting the tiny scrap of satin aside so he could lean in, pinning Dean to the bed again. “But I prefer you without them.”

Dean smiled up at Cas. “Is that so.”

Cas nodded. “Prefer you without _anything_.” He ran his hands over the corset. “Though this IS rather nice.”

“Well I should hope so, considering we just bought it.” Dean rocked his hips upward against Cas’. “Now will you take your damn clothes off??”

Cas laughed. “I can do that.” He pulled his shirt up over his head, slowly, teasing as much as possible. Immediately Dean’s hands found his chest, palms sliding up, taking in all that bare flesh. Cas moaned at the feeling, casting the shirt aside. “ _Fuck_ , Dean.”

“Pants.” Dean’s voice was breathless. “Take off your damn pants.”

The sound of that voice _did things_ to Castiel; he pushed off the bed, shucking both pants and undergarments to the floor and returning as quickly as possible to Dean’s arms. The blonde pulled Cas in, practically crushing Cas against him, wrapping those long legs around Cas’ waist and rolling upwards, seeking friction.

Cas moaned, rocking back down against Dean. “Fuck.”

“That’s the idea.” Dean’s hands ran down Cas’ back to cup his ass and squeeze. “So hurry up and do it.”

“ _Fuck_.” That felt strangely good, especially the way Dean pulled him downward, their cocks rubbing together. “Gotta…ah.” Dean was laying kisses along his throat, nipping here and there, and it was incredibly distracting. “Gotta get the lube.”

Dean growled in frustration. “Should’ve gotten that before.” Cas was trying to pull away but Dean was refusing to let go. It was kind of adorable. Cas huffed a laugh.

“Well I didn’t.” He managed to extricate himself from Dean’s grasp, pulling away far enough to get into the bedside table, finding the lube and returning to Dean’s side. “There. That wasn’t so bad, was it?” His tone was teasingly soothing. Dean glared.

“Don’t patronize me.” 

Cas laughed. “But it’s so much fun.” He leaned in for a long, slow kiss and every trace of that grumpiness vanished as Dean relaxed into the kiss with a pleased hum, hands tangling in Cas’ messy hair. It was impossible to focus on anything else with Dean kissing him that way with those amazing lips. _God_ , he loved that mouth. It was even more lush than usual (Cas was amazed that was possible) from all the kisses, red and flushed. Cas ran his thumb over it. It was absolutely _gorgeous_.

Dean gently nipped at Cas’ fingertip, smiling at the little gasp that elicited. “Stop teasing me,” he whispered. “And fuck me.”

For some reason, having Dean whisper it like that was impossibly sexy. Cas pressed forward, kissing Dean almost desperately. Dean let out a noise of surprise but it quickly turned into a pleased one, his hands sliding into Cas hair and pulling him closer. Without breaking the kiss, Cas fumbled with the lube, managing to get it open and slick his fingers. Dean clearly heard the bottle for he spread his legs even wider. Cas slipped his hand between them and gently pressed one finger into Dean, delighting in the tiny moan. “S’that good?” He murmured the words into Dean’s ear.

Dean nodded rapidly. “Don’t stop. More, Cas. More.”

Cas happily complied, trailing kisses down Dean’s throat, nipping here and there. Dean moaned at one of the bites so Cas did it again, harder this time. Hard enough to break skin. Dean gasped as he felt the skin break, as Cas’ tongue lapped at the blood flowing from the tiny cut. “Cas!”

Cas’ only response was a happy hum as he continued to lick at the blood, two fingers teasing over Dean’s prostate. He scissored Dean wider, pressing in a third finger. “Good?”

Dean nodded. “S’good. So good. Fuck Cas, don’t stop. More.”

“Need me to fuck you?” As he asked the question, Cas pressed hard against that sweet spot, prompting a cry.

“Haa! Yes! Yes, please, Cas!” Dean’s legs spread wider and he attempted to push back onto Castiel’s fingers, seeking more. Instead, Cas withdrew, loving the whimper that elicited, but Dean wasn’t denied for long. Cas picked up the discarded lube and slicked his cock, tugging one of Dean’s legs up around his waist.

“Okay, baby.” Those green eyes were looking up at him and the frustration faded, realization dawning that Cas was about to give him what he wanted. Dean wrapped both legs around Cas’ waist now, arms slipping into that brown hair and tugging Cas into a kiss.

“Hard, please,” he whispered. The request sent a shiver down Cas’ spine and he nodded.

“Promise.” With that he pressed right into Dean, no hesitation, until he bottomed out. Dean was gripping his shoulders tightly; now that Cas was inside him, he hooked both long legs over Cas’ shoulders to get into a better position, that position he loved so much where Cas had him bent in half and could fuck him deep into the mattress. Cas loved it, too, and seeing Dean like that showed that he really did mean what he said: he wanted it hard. Cas would give it to him.

He gave a roll of his hips, driving deep into Dean, who let out a little sigh. “Yes. Like that.” Cas snapped his hips forward, going a little harder, and this time Dean let out a tiny cry. “Fuck! Yes!” His hands gripped Cas’ shoulders. “ _Fuck_ , Cas.”

Cas repeated the motion, and again, setting up a steady rhythm while trying to slowly and steadily increase the roughness of his thrusts without going too hard. If Dean’s reactions were anything to go by, he was doing alright. The blonde’s face was flushed, hair damp with sweat, and his eyes were crazed with arousal. He was clinging to Cas as if the brunette were his lifeline. All in all, he painted a positively gorgeous picture, and his little moans and cries on top of that? Cas was losing his mind.

“Beautiful,” he whispered. “You are so beautiful.” Dean looked up at him with lust filled eyes, cheeks pink, and Cas had to kiss him. 

“Cas….” It seemed as if that was the most Dean could process at that time. Cas reached between them, wrapping his fingers around Dean’s cock, but he had barely even touched it before Dean was coming. Cas looked at the boy in surprise but didn’t hold back, stroking him through his orgasm, loving the way the overload of sensation made Dean whimper and thrash beneath him, unable to contain all of his feelings. It was enough to push Cas the rest of the way to his own release, spilling inside Dean, seeing those green eyes flash with another burst of pleasure at the sensation of being filled. He pressed close to Dean, nuzzling the bite mark he’d left on the boy’s throat, loving the little gasp Dean made in response.

“Fuck.” Dean’s fingers slipped into Cas’ hair, carding through it. “Feels so good.” Cas chuckled.

“Good.” He kissed the mark, pulling out of Dean and rolling off him so they could take up their usual positions, Dean immediately curling up against Cas and resting his head on Cas’ chest; they lay quietly curled together for several long moments. 

“So.” Cas voice sounded deafening in the silence of the room. “Personally I’m a fan of the green corset and panty ensemble.”

Dean laughed. “Really? I never would have guessed.”

“I know, I hide my enthusiasm well.”

Dean just shook his head, a grin on his face. “Ass.”

“You know it.” Cas stroked Dean’s hair, his cheek. “So….you ready to try on another pair?” The teasing in his voice was barely suppressed, and he couldn’t hide his grin. 

Dean looked up at him in surprise, then let out a burst of laughter. “Oh yea, let me hop right on that!” Cas laughed; Dean shook his head. “Like you could even get it up again so soon.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about, I’m the PICTURE of virility.”

“Oh my God you are SUCH an ass!”

Cas tugged Dean into a kiss, silencing all of his laughter; when they parted he looked up at Dean with a smile, stroking his hair. “And you love me for it.”

Dean shook his head, rolling his eyes with a smile. “God help me, I do.” He snuggled back into his usual spot, laying his head on Cas’ shoulder. “Give me half an hour. Then I’ll model another pair for you.”

“Oh really?” Cas was surprised. “Half an hour, huh? Think you can manage that?”

Dean’s smirk had a challenge to it. “I’m game if you are.”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh. “Okay, then. Half an hour.”

“Yea.” Dean’s smile took on a bit of a wicked, heated edge. “And this time…I’m on top.”

Cas felt heat rush through him as the image of Dean riding him filled his head. “I’m gonna hold you to that,” he said, his throat dry, arousal filling every inch of him. Maybe he wouldn’t need a full half hour after all.

Dean leaned over him, a smile on his face as he murmured “please do.”

 

**~fin~**


	4. So Perfectly Wrong

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When the Winchesters run out of food, fourteen year old Dean needs to find a way to feed Sammy.  
> Some serious angst here, guys. You have been warned.

Give off the vibe that everything's fine  
as long as you don't look in my eyes.  
It's all going just so perfectly wrong.  
-One of Those Days, Joy Williams

“Now you be good, Sammy.”

Sam looked up at Dean from his seat on one of the Biggerson’s booths, his huge eyes pleading. “Do I _hafta_ stay here?”

Dean’s heart broke looking at him, but there was no way his ten year old brother was coming with him for this. He nodded his head and Sam’s lower lip immediately jutted in a little pout. Any other time he would have laughed; it was just so cute. Now he couldn’t find it in him to do so. “I won’t be too long. I promise.” He prayed, anyway. The thought of what he was about to do made him sick. If it took too long….his stomach turned and he forced back the bile in his throat. Dean gently stroked Sam’s messy brown hair. “You behave, okay? Be good for Linda.” He glanced at the girl, a skinny blonde who couldn’t be more than eighteen. She was watching them with boredom, popping her gum. She definitely wasn’t the person he would have chosen to watch his brother but she was willing to let Sammy stay there, no questions asked, and that was what he needed. “Okay?” he asked again.

Sam definitely wasn’t happy but he nodded. “Okay.”

Dean smiled and ruffled Sam’s hair. “Thanks, Sammybean.” Sam glowered at the nickname.

“I HATE that name.”

Dean chuckled. “I know, I know. I’ll be back soon.” With that he rose, thanking Linda before heading to the door. He paused as a mirror caught his eye, unable to help looking himself over. Skin-tight jeans and a shirt that clung to his skinny but still toned chest, slightly too short so that an inch of bare flesh showed above the waistband of his pants. But the clincher was the carefully applied makeup-- mascara (not really necessary; he had ridiculously long lashes) and the barest touch of eyeliner. It brought out a feminine edge to him, making him walk the line between hard and soft, masculine and feminine, and he had to admit that the effect was a nice one.

Dean took a deep breath, steeling himself before he pushed the door open and stepped out into the night. It was chilly out, for September, but he couldn’t have a coat on. Not for what he was doing.

He had several blocks to walk before he found what he was looking for. The bars were never too close to the family establishments. He made sure to situate himself close to a gay bar. It seemed likely that was where he was going to have the most luck.

Still, nearly an hour went by with no results. He got a lot of looks, none of them anywhere close to chaste, and he felt dirty, so dirty. He couldn’t imagine how he would feel once someone had actually touched him. IF somebody touched him…..it looked like he was going to strike out.

“Hey, there.”

Dean’s head snapped up, eyes wide. There was a man in a business suit smiling at him. It looked as if he may have come from the straight bar across the street. Not that it mattered, if he was interested. “….hello.”

The man’s eyes travelled over Dean’s body, taking in the ensemble, and Dean could feel his cheeks burn. “What’s a pretty little thing like you doing alone out here so late at night?”

God, the line was clichéd, so clichéd, all Dean wanted to do was ask him who wrote his dialogue. Well, no. What he REALLY wanted to do was run away, but he couldn’t do that. The cabinets and refrigerator were completely empty. John might feed himself when he went out at night but the boys had to fend for themselves. Dean had been going without for nearly a week, but now they were completely out of food. He couldn’t even feed Sammy. They needed to get food somehow, and this was all he could think of.

He swallowed hard and struggled to make his face coy, lowering his lashes. “I think you know what I’m doing out here.”

Apparently he had succeeded with the expression for something changed in the man’s face; he stepped closer, head nodding, gesturing behind Dean. “Back there. The alley.”

Dean’s heart fluttered nervously. He knew they couldn’t do anything here on the street but being alone with a stranger in a dark alley? That was definitely NOT his idea of safe. Still he followed the man, who was pulling his wallet out of his pocket and holding up several bills. Dean strained through the dark to see what they were. When he did, his eyes widened. One hundred dollars. This man was offering him one hundred dollars. His mind began racing, thinking of all the groceries he could buy for Sammy with a hundred dollars. 

A tiny voice inside him was screaming, warning him that whatever this man was expecting from him in exchange for that hundred dollars could _not_ be good, so it was warily that he approached the man.

There was a smile on that face. Dean didn’t like it. It was predatory, and he thought (not for the first time) that anyone who would pay a fourteen year old boy for sex was a huge creep. It sent a shiver down his spine, one he tried to hide. He reached out, hands shaking, for the man’s fly. It was difficult to get it undone, what with the way the man was trailing kisses down his throat, and he shivered again.

“Skittish little thing, aren’t you,” the man murmured. “Have you ever done this before?” Dean didn’t answer, _couldn’t_ answer, and apparently that was answer enough. “A _virgin_ ,” the man breathed, and it was clear from the lust in his voice that this was a very good thing indeed. 

Dean felt his heart stop. Did this mean the man wanted to fuck him? He opened his mouth to ask but then he felt the man’s tongue trace a wet path up his neck and his fingers clenched in the waistband of the man’s pants to stop himself from pulling away. Then lips were moving, brushing his flesh as the man murmured “well? Aren’t you going to get going?”

He knew he should but he felt frozen. But then there was a hand on the back of his head, pushing him to his knees and Dean’s heart began pounding fit to burst out of his chest. The man’s pants were barely open but he could still see his cock peeking through and again Dean felt the bile rise in his throat, shutting his eyes tight in attempt to get control of himself. _Sammy_ , he repeated silently. _Remember why you’re here. You need that money_. 

But before he could move there was the sound of a siren and the flashing of lights; the man pushed Dean off him so hard that Dean went sprawling backwards, scraping his palms. Dean looked up, confused and scared and yes, there was a cop car blocking the entrance of the alley. He had to get out of here. He couldn’t get caught. What would happen to Sammy? 

The man was trying to escape as well but they really were well and truly cut off and the cop had nabbed him. “I wasn’t doing anything!” the man protested.

“Mister, I just caught you with your pants down, a wad of cash in hand, and if I can see right from here, the person you’re with is just a boy. Looks like we’ll be leveling more than one charge against you.” With that the cop was shoving the man into the backseat of the police car. Dean, in the meantime, with no escape in sight, was trying to make himself as small as possible. When the officer approached, his heart began pounding. But the woman simply offered a hand. Dean looked at it with confusion, then back to the woman, who was smiling softly at him.

“C’mon, boy, I don’t bite.”

Dean hesitantly accepted the help and the officer (Chief Mills, her badge read) pulled him to his feet. “Thank you.” His voice was tiny, timid.

“You’re welcome. Now come on.”

“No!” Dean wrenched away. “Sammy. I have to get Sammy!”

The cop cocked her head. “Brother? Sister?”

“….brother.” Dean was mumbling, face aflame. “He’s down the street at Biggerson’s.” He was so humiliated. Not only was he caught hooking but he had left his little brother alone at a restaurant. God. He was a horrible person.

The cop simply nodded. “Let’s go get him.” She guided Dean around the other side of the car and Dean braced himself to be shoved into the back with his ‘client’ (his ears burned at the thought) but to his surprise Chief Mills opened the passenger door for him.

“Why does HE get to sit up front?” the man protested. “He was doing something illegal, too!”

“Shut your mouth or I’ll shut it for you.”

The rest of the short ride to Biggerson’s was silent. Dean was allowed to go in alone, and the look of joy on Sammy’s face when he saw Dean was almost enough to make this whole night better…..almost. “Dean!” The kid leapt into Dean’s arms.

“Hey, Sammy.” Dean ruffled his hair. “Hey, guess what. We’re gonna go for a ride in a police car!”

Sam’s eyes went the size of saucers. “REALLY??”

Despite the seriousness of the situation, Dean couldn’t help but laugh at that face. “Really.”

Sam was ridiculously happy the entire ride to the precinct, asking Chief Mills a neverending stream of questions. Luckily she didn’t seem to mind; on the contrary, she seemed to enjoy it.

“Sorry about….this,” Dean said at last, gesturing to Sam and his hyperactive self. Chief Mills chuckled, shaking her head.

“Not at all. I’ve got one of my own.”

The ride to the station was far too short for Dean’s liking. He knew the officer was going to want to talk to him about what had happened and it was NOT a discussion he wanted to have. Plus he hadn’t made any money. How was he going to feed Sam?

A cup was set on the desk before him with a clatter, stirring him from his thoughts. He sniffed at it; it was filled with steaming hot coffee. He wrinkled his nose. If they were trying to get him to talk, tea was the way to go.

Chief Mills sat down in front of him. “So.” She folded her hands. Honestly she wasn’t at all intimidating, and he didn’t think she was trying to be. She seemed like a genuinely nice woman. That didn’t mean he wanted to talk to her. His family’s business was not up for discussion. “Talk to me. What’s going on.”

Dean was silent, gaze returning to the cup of coffee that he had no intention of drinking.

The woman was not at all deterred by his silence, but pressed on. “Are you from around here?” He continued to ignore her. “Do you and Sam have parents or should I call protective custody?”

THAT got his attention, a sharp spike of fear stabbing him straight through the heart. “NO!” He shot out of his chair without even realizing it. “We’re fine. We don’t need anyone.”

Chief Mills raised a brow. “That didn’t answer the question.”

Dean hated to answer the question; their father barely even counted as such. He sank back into his chair. “We have a dad.”

“Okay. Then why were you out there hooking tonight?”

Dean fell silent again, scuffing the toe of his shoe against the floor, eyes locked on the linoleum. To his surprise, Chief Mills remained silent, waiting patiently for Dean to answer her in his own time. “…..we need the money,” he whispered at last. “Dad….” He stopped again. If he told her about his father’s drinking there was a good chance she WOULD call protective services and then he really WOULD lose Sammy. A lie leapt to his lips. “Dad doesn’t have a great job. We needed groceries. I wanted to help.”

The woman looked as though she didn’t quite believe Dean but there was really no way to disprove him. “Well this isn’t the way to do it.”

“I know,” he whispered, eyes on the floor once again.

“Hey.” Hand beneath his chin, she tilted his chin up so he was forced to meet her gaze. “Promise me you’ll never do it again. Promise me that and I won’t write you up.”

Dean felt a wave of relief. “I promise.” Besides, he didn’t think he could do it again, anyway. He couldn’t stomach it. He wasn’t sure how else he would raise money but he would find a way. Hmm. _I wonder if I’d be any good at pool…._

“Okay, then. Let’s go get your brother and get you home.”

Dean felt another wave of panic. “We can walk.”

But Chief Mills shook her head. “No, I’m going to drive you. I want to talk to your father.”

Oh God. Dean felt as if he were going to hyperventilate. He struggled to catch his breath, get it all under control before Chief Mills noticed and asked what was wrong. If he couldn’t tell her about John’s drinking then he REALLY couldn’t tell her that John beat him. And if she drove the two boys home, that was _exactly_ what was going to happen.

It was too late, though; she had noticed. “Hey, Dean, calm down.” She put a hand on his shoulder, rubbing his back. “Head between your knees.” He complied, trying to focus on the soothing circles she was rubbing between his shoulderblades. “I’m not going to tell him what you were doing. I just want to talk to him.”

Somehow Dean managed a nod. It would be okay. He didn’t want to make her suspicious by refusing. So he would let her drive them home. And if a beating was what that cost, well then he could handle it. He’d handled enough of them before.

As soon as they left the room, Sammy ran into his arms. He had enjoyed playing with the other officers, a police hat on his head (it was far too big, hanging in his eyes) but it was Dean he wanted to see. Dean scooped him up into his arms. “Guess what, Sammy.” He took the hat off Sam’s head. “We’re taking another ride in the cop car.”

Well, at least Sammy was excited. Dean held the boy in his lap for the entire ride, attempting to keep him still as he wriggled about with excitement, trying to see everything he could. Chief Mills seemed torn between amusement at Sam and concern for Dean.

The ride home wasn’t nearly long enough for Dean’s liking, and all the lights were on. His dad was back early from the bar. His heart immediately dropped into his shoes. If John hadn’t been home, the cop wouldn’t have been able to talk to him…at least not for several hours, and Dean would bet good money that she wouldn’t have waited around that long.

“Dean?”

He looked up at where Chief Mills stood outside the car, head poked in to look at him. “C’mon, Dean.” Her voice was soft, understanding, but she _didn’t_ understand, there was no way she COULD understand. Still he nodded, pushing the door open and guiding Sammy out before heading up the porch steps as reluctantly as possible.

John met them at the door, yanking it open so hard that it squealed on its hinges, and he did not look at all happy to see the two of them. “Where the HELL have you been?” Then he saw the police officer and his eyes widened; his gaze turned to Dean and it may not have been clear for Chief Mills to see but to Dean it was clear as day: John Winchester was FURIOUS.

“Evening, sir.”

Still, he managed to keep his voice civil. “Good evening, officer. May I help you?”

“Sure can.” Without waiting for John to invite her inside she pushed her way in, guiding Dean and Sam in before her. “I believe these are your boys?”

“They are.”

Dean’s heart was pounding, no idea where she was going with this. “I found them outside the supermarket. You know you really shouldn’t let boys this age out so late at night, not even for groceries.”

He felt a little wave of relief. Her story wouldn’t stop John from hitting him but it was far, _far_ better than the truth. And it WAS the story he had left for his dad, a note on the table saying they’d gone for groceries. 

“Yes, officer. I’ll keep that in mind.”

Dean glanced at his father and his heart skipped a beat. It was obvious that Chief Mills’ story hadn’t done a single thing. He was in for one hell of a beating.

Clearly she was unaware of all this and simply gave him a smile. “Goodnight, Dean. Bye, Sam.” And with that she was gone, vanishing into the night.

The room was silent but Dean could feel the tension in the air, radiating from the angry presence of his father behind him. “Sammy.” His younger brother looked up at him with those huge eyes and Dean did his best to smile, whispering “go to your room.” 

Immediately Sam’s face fell. “But—“ he began to protest, but Dean didn’t let him finish.

“Go to your room.” The last thing Dean wanted was Sam seeing what came next. Sam was giving him the huge sad puppy eyes that always got him his way. Not this time. He gave Sam a small smile and stroked his hair. “I’ll be in soon.”

Sam obeyed with a smile, nodding once at Dean before running down the hall towards their room and leaving Dean alone with their father.

There was no point in prolonging it any further. Dean braced himself and turned to face his father, gaze still lowered. He didn’t want to look up, to see the look on his father’s face. But when he did, the fury in his father’s eyes….the disgust and rage…. “dad—“ he began, but he got no farther before he was backhanded, sent sprawling back against the wall. He squeezed his eyes shut tight against the pain but it didn’t stop him from feeling his father’s hot breath against his cheek as he hissed “you look like a whore.”

Dean’s cheeks burned at the accusation. He had attempted to wipe off the eye makeup during the car ride home but it appeared he hadn’t been entirely successful. 

“I know you weren’t shopping….especially not dressed like _that_. What were you _really_ up to tonight?” John’s expression stated he knew _exactly_ what Dean had been doing. Still he leaned in closer, voice soft but deadly. “Were you hooking?”

Dean flushed red; he couldn’t help it. Especially since it was true. His father definitely noticed the flush and his eyes narrowed, his beliefs confirmed.

“You little _whore_.” He hit Dean again only harder, the smack sending the slim boy to the floor.

Dean lay in a heap on the linoleum, his face stinging, head swimming. He struggled to get his vision to focus and the first thing his gaze landed on was Sam. The boy was halfway down the hallway, watching Dean with an expression of confusion and fear on his face.

“Sammy!” Dean’s heart skipped. The one thing worse than the beatings would be to have Sam witness them. John would never hit Sam, thank God, but Dean didn’t want him seeing this shit either. Usually his dad was good at noticing and keeping Sam away but at the moment John didn’t seem to either notice or care.

Dean managed to wave a hand at his brother, hissing “Sammy! Go away!”

Sam’s eyes widened in surprise and he gave a rapid nod, turning and vanishing from sight.

_Well, that’s one problem solved_ , Dean thought dimly, his head pounding. He felt his father’s foot nudge at his ribs and his heart skipped, terrified that he was going to end up with a broken rib or two but no, all his father did was turn him over on his back. “Come home with any money?”

It would figure that would be John’s concern. Dean shook his head weakly. John snorted. “No one wanted you, huh. Well why should they. No one does….no one ever will.”

The words hurt. God, did they hurt. Would no one ever want him except creeps like that guy at the bar? 

_No_ , he told himself. There had been Victor. A couple girls.

_But nothing real_ , that tiny voice whispered. He shoved it back. Things were bad enough right now without self-doubts. 

“You weren’t outside some faggot bar, were you?”

No matter what the circumstances, there was no way Dean would EVER have confessed to that. He shook his head, a rapid shake.

"Well. That's something, anyway." And then John’s hands were clutching the front of his shirt, yanking him up off the floor until they were face to face, those brown eyes still so angry. "If I EVER catch you doing this again, you'll get more than a few smacks." And with that John shoved Dean away, dropping him to the floor in a crumpled heap. 

Dean was vaguely aware of his father’s footsteps fading off into the distance as he left the room but it was all overcome by the pain in his face. This was nothing close to the pain of some of the other beatings he had taken (the broken arm was still a highpoint….lowpoint? Both?), but it still hurt. And on some level he knew that the emotional pain was adding to everything else he was feeling. He had taken a gamble and he had struck out. He would just have to try again with a new plan. Pool. Maybe he’d be good at pool. Cuz he had to take care of Sammy somehow.

_Sammy…_

That thought got him on his feet and he made his way down the hallway. “Sammy?”

“Dean!” Sam sounded so happy to hear his voice that it broke his heart. “Where are you? Turn on the light!”

Dean shook his head, even though Sam couldn’t see it. In the light Sam would be able to see the bloody nose, the slight bruises that were forming. “Nah. Let’s just stay like this, Sammy. It’s bedtime, anyway.”

“Okay!” God, Sam was such a happy, easy to please little kid. Dean wanted to cry with how much he loved him. “You all snuggled in?”

“Yup!”

“Okay, then.” Dean found Sam’s head, stroked his hair. “Get some sleep.”

He sat in the dark, stroking Sam’s hair until he fell asleep, thinking to himself. Tonight had been horrible. He needed some way to cheer up. There was a party tomorrow night at the house of a classmate. He hadn’t planned on going but maybe he would. It could be some fun.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean still wasn’t certain how good of an idea it had been to come to this party, but at least it was more relaxing than being at home. Their neighbor had agreed to watch Sam for a couple hours so he didn’t have to be home until eleven. He definitely didn’t need that long; no. Dean enjoyed the parties because they gave him a chance to live in a different world for a night, a world that didn’t include his father, but he didn’t like leaving Sammy in someone else's hands for too long. 

Besides, despite his best efforts he simply couldn’t get his father’s words out of his head. _No one wants you….no one ever will_. He had spent most of the night alone. Maybe it was true.

Dean saw someone smiling at him from across the room. There was something self-satisfied in that smile, but Dean didn’t have time to think about it for the boy was crossing the room, and suddenly he found a drink being pressed into his hand and a cultured voice was saying “hello there. I’m Balthazar.”

Maybe his luck was about to change after all.

 

**~*~**

 

Dean woke up the morning after the party feeling worse than he could ever remember. His clothes were in a pile on the floor. He had managed to strip when he got home last night, unwilling to spend a single second longer than he had to wearing those clothes, but there was no way they were staying in this house, let alone on his bedroom floor.

Tugging on a tshirt and some shorts, Dean gathered all the clothes to his chest and headed down the hallway to the kitchen. Sammy was sitting at the table, eating his Cheerios (so John had gone shopping....that was something, anyway), but Dean headed straight to the trash and stuffed all his clothes in.

“Dean?”

Dean didn’t answer, _couldn’t_ answer; instead he grabbed his sneakers from beside the door and tossed them in the trash as well.

“Dean, what’s wrong?”

But Dean simply headed from the room, eyes averted, and straight into the bathroom to take the hottest, longest shower possible, his tears mingling with the droplets of water.

 

**~*~**

 

It had been a week and still Dean hadn’t spoken to anyone….not unless absolutely necessary. He hadn’t been able to make himself cook dinner, making nothing but boxed meals, for which his father was giving him hell. He just couldn’t do it. Whenever he tried to do the simplest task his hands would start shaking, reliving those awful moments, seeing Balthazar’s smug smiling face above him, feeling that heat hit his chest, and he would feel dirty all over again.

It was killing him to see the tears well up in Sammy’s eyes whenever he refused to answer, but it didn’t stop him from averting his gaze and heading to his room, shutting the door behind him. That was where he was right now, sitting on his bed, unmoving. He could hear Sam outside the door, the tearful voice calling “Dean?” And that was it. That was what finally broke him completely and he began to sob. He couldn’t go on like this and he knew it. Sammy needed him. If there was anything to pull himself together for, anything to live for, it was Sammy.

Dean scrubbed at his face, wiping away all the tears. Rising from the bed, he headed to his dresser. He took a deep breath to steady himself and then, for the first time in a week, looked at himself in the mirror. What he saw there was horrible, broken and ugly, but that didn’t matter. _You’ll get over it_ , he told himself. _Sooner or later, you’ll get over it_. And as he told himself that, repeated the words, he could almost pretend he believed them. Because now, more than ever, he needed to be strong.

For Sam.

 

**~Five Years Later~**

 

Cas sat silent, and Dean didn’t know if that was good or bad. But he was still holding Dean’s hands in his, and if anything that was positive. It had taken forever for Dean to make this confession but finally he had done it. Still, he couldn’t help but fill that silence with more noise (he never had been able to handle silence), continuing to babble, trying to explain what he had done (or almost done) and why. 

“I mean I never even ended up touching him but still I was gonna, I was there and I was gonna do it, so really, I thought you should know that—“ but Cas interrupted him, taking Dean’s face in his hands and kissing him softly. When they separated, Dean was staring at him with wide eyes. “I…..what,” he asked stupidly. 

Cas smiled. “Dean…..I don’t care.” Dean still stared, surprised. Cas stroked his hair. “You are just as beautiful now as you were ten minutes ago, before you told me…..maybe even more so.” Dean looked shocked, so shocked, and confused.

“What?? I….I don’t understand.”

Cas shook his head. “Dean, all that story did was show me yet again how far you will go to protect those you care about. And if anything is beautiful, it’s that.”

Now Dean was blushing, cheeks flushed pink in that way that Cas loved. “Hush,” he mumbled. Cas couldn’t help but laugh.

“No.” A hand under Dean’s chin, he tilted his face up so he could steal a kiss. “I love you.”

Dean couldn’t help it at that, he had to smile. “I love you, too. You….you fix everything, you know that?”

Cas shook his head. “No, Dean. There’s nothing _to_ fix. I think I just show you that.”

Dean looked surprised and cocked his head, considering. “…..maybe,” he said at last, then grinned. “But you DO still fix everything. Everything that needs fixing, you fix.”

Cas laughed. “Okay. I’ll accept that.”

“Good. Cuz you have no choice in the matter.” Dean leaned in for a kiss, arms wrapping around Cas’ neck, and Cas pulled him closer, humming happily into that kiss.

“You too, you know.” Cas’ voice was soft, and Dean looked questioningly at him. Cas smiled. “When you came into my life you fixed absolutely everything that was wrong with it.” He stroked Dean’s cheek. “ _Everything_.”

Dean’s eyes were huge as he stared at Cas. It was so clear, absolutely clear, that Cas meant every word. Slowly, those big green eyes filled up with tears, and then he was on Cas, hands cupping his face as he kissed him. “I love you,” he whispered.

Cas smiled, a thumb brushing one tear away. “I love you, too. You….to me, you are perfect.”

Dean didn’t know how to handle such words, especially after the confession he had just made. The fact that Cas, this beautiful, quirky, wonderful boy, could know about all of Dean’s errors and failures and imperfections and still love him despite them and no, even because of them? He shook his head, something akin to awe in his smile. “I really am the luckiest son of a bitch on earth.”

Cas laughed, a finger tracing the chiseled line of Dean’s jaw. “I think we share that title.”

And sitting together on Dean’s messy bed, Sammy down the hall doing his homework, Dean was happier than he had ever been. Those days were all behind him now, and he was never going back. 

“What is it?” Cas’ voice was soft. “What’re you thinking about.”

Dean ran his hands through Cas’ messy brown hair, cupped his face. “Stay with me?”

Cas looked surprised at the question, then shook his head in amused exasperation at the fact that Dean would even ask such a question. He leaned in, a smile on his face as he murmured “forever.”

And at that moment, Dean knew that whatever happened in his life, wherever he went, Cas would always be with him, and they would make their ‘forever’ as perfect as could possibly be.

Forever.

Was there ever a word with a more beautiful ring to it?

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I'd apologize for the angst level but I'm really not sorry and I DID warn you.
> 
> This drabble has been planned for sooooo long. I'm pretty sure since during the writing of 'Every Color in the World'. 
> 
> Hopefully you enjoyed it, despite all the angst.


	5. Blindfolded

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Cas has a little surprise for Dean.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> (SET IN HIGH SCHOOL)

(SET IN HIGH SCHOOL)

“Cas, seriously, where are we going?”

Castiel idly tapped his fingers against the steering wheel as he waited for the light to change. “I told you already, you just have to wait and see.”

“Well, is the blindfold really necessary?”

“Yes.”

“Why.”

“Cuz I can’t trust you to keep your eyes shut. You’ll peek.” Dean groaned in frustration and Cas grinned. When Dean had arrived at the Novak house that afternoon, Cas had been waiting for him….waiting to ambush him with a bandana and gently tie it around his eyes before leading him to the car. Dean hadn’t stopped whining for the whole car ride, wanting to know what the big surprise was. It was amusing Cas to no end.

He turned the car into the parking lot, finding the first available space. Dean heaved a sigh, “Finally!” and moved to take the bandana off. Cas reached out, stopping him.

“Nuh uh. Not yet.”

“Cas!” Dean’s voice was now thoroughly fed-up. Cas had to bite his lip to hold back a laugh.

“Just sit tight.” He couldn’t fully suppress a tiny laugh as Dean heaved an exasperated sigh, his head falling back against the seat. Cas made his way around the car, opening Dean’s door for him and taking his hand. “C’mon.”

Amazingly Dean didn’t protest, letting Cas lead him the last twenty feet or so. “Okay.” Cas moved behind Dean, carefully untying the bandana. “Here we are!”

Dean blinked in the sudden bright sunlight, eyes focusing on….

….Biggerson’s. They were at Biggerson’s. All that trouble for a restaurant that was one step above fast food? 

He looked at Cas. The brunette was smiling, obviously aware of Dean’s thoughts, and he nodded in the direction of the restaurant. “Look again.”

Dean was confused but he trusted Cas, so he did as he was told, gaze travelling over the building. It was a matter of seconds before he saw it, eyes widening, jaw dropping. For there, spread across the front of the building was a banner that read ‘All You Can Eat Pie Buffet’.

He turned to Cas, mouth agape, those green eyes huge, and Cas couldn’t help but laugh. “You like it?”

Dean’s answer wasn’t verbal. Instead Cas found himself being pounced on, his arms full of one very enthusiastic blonde. He laughed into a kiss. “Should I take that as a yes?”

“Damn right you should take that as a yes!” Dean looked back at the sign. “ _Fuck_ , Cas. All you can eat pie?” He turned to his boyfriend. “How did you FIND this?”

“We had the radio on in the art room today and they were advertising it. I guess it’s a new thing Biggerson’s is doing.”

It took the words a few seconds to sink in but when they did, Dean’s eyes seemed impossibly to go even wider. “Wait….you mean this isn’t some promotional thing? They’re going to do it for good? All the time?"

“That’s the impression I got.”

“Oh my God.” Dean was staring at the restaurant almost reverently, as if it were some sort of glorious vision. Cas laughed again; he couldn’t STOP laughing. Dean was just so happy and it was making HIM happy in return. He took Dean’s hand.

“C’mon. Let’s go inside and get you some pie!”

That stirred Dean from his thoughts and he smiled, nodding. “Sounds good to me!”

 

**~*~**

 

Watching Dean eat pie was like watching some sort of miracle of nature. It didn’t seem physically possible that one person could eat that much pie, but somehow he managed it. Though in the end he DID take more than he could eat, but Cas had planned for this. When no one was looking, he discreetly snuck the extra pie into the Tupperware he had hidden in his shoulder bag. 

Dean’s eyes widened at that. “You brought that with you?” he hissed, looking around furtively to make sure no one was watching. Cas nodded, a silent smile on his lips. “Damn. Wish I’d known.” Dean watched as Cas tucked the Tupperware carefully into his bag. “I would’ve gotten more pie.”

Cas burst out laughing. “You don’t NEED more pie!”

“Says you.”

“ _Knows_ me.” Cas leaned across the table for a gentle kiss. “The buffet is sticking around. We can come back again.”

Dean’s eyes were aglow at the words. “Promise?”

Cas chuckled, shaking his head. “Promise.” He glanced over their bill, pulling out a wad of money and counting out enough to cover the cost plus tip. “C’mon.” He rose, offering a hand to Dean, who accepted with a smile. “Let’s go home.”

“And eat the leftover pie?”

Cas was about to protest, laughing, when he saw the twinkle in Dean’s eyes and realized he was just kidding. “Oh, you--!” He gave Dean a shove. “You’re just a brat, that’s what you are.”

“Mmhm.” Dean pressed Cas up against the car, a smile on his face. “And you love me.”

Cas ran his fingers through Dean’s short, soft hair. “God help me, I do.” He cupped Dean’s cheek, guiding him in for a gentle kiss.

So they kissed there in the parking lot, pressed close together, their body heat keeping each other warm as the cool evening breeze blew and the stars shone bright above them. 

 

**~tbc~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I don't know if you guys remember but at several points in the show there's an advertisement that Biggerson's has an All You Can Eat Pie Buffet, and the boys never go. I don't think they're even aware of it. I feel like that's a missed opportunity, to at least show Dean freaking out over how awesome an idea that is.
> 
> Anyway, hope you enjoyed.^^


	6. What it Would be Like

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Castiel has what seems like a very impromptu gift for his husband. Little does Dean know just how much time and planning went into it, or how scared Cas is to give it to him.

“Hey.”

Dean looked up at the sudden interruption to his writing. Cas was standing in the doorway, a brightly wrapped package in his hands. “Hey, Cas. What’s up?”

Cas thrust the package out towards Dean. “This is for you.” His cheeks were slightly pink.

Dean was surprised. "For me? Why do you have something for me?"

But Cas only blushed furiously and offered the gift again. "Because I want to."

Dean looked from the present back up to Cas, confused but curious, and accepted it. “Thank you.” Carefully, oh-so carefully, he peeled the wrapping paper off, letting it fall to the floor. When he got his first look at what was inside he stopped dead and nearly dropped the gift to the floor. Cas waited, but Dean didn’t say a thing, simply staring with wide eyes down at the painting in his hands.

It was his mother, holding baby Mary. Cas had collected photos of Dean’s mother, analyzing her face from every angle before deciding how to draw her. She was seated, wearing a blue dress (her favorite color), blonde hair tumbling in loose waves about her shoulders. And she was smiling, that soft, sweet smile she wore in every photo. Baby Mary was cradled close in her arms, wearing one of the dresses Bela had given them, one of those gummy smiles on her chubby face.

Cas knew it broke Dean’s heart that his mother would never meet Mary. Cas had wanted to give Dean that….as much as he could, in his own little way. He could only pray that he hadn’t chosen wrong, that giving Dean a painting of what could never be would upset Dean. And this prolonged silence was really starting to worry him. “….Dean?” he asked hesitantly. Then he saw those beautiful green eyes growing glassy, and Dean burst into tears. “Dean!”

Oh no. This had gone horribly wrong. He was at Dean’s side immediately, wrapping both arms around him. “I’m sorry. I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to upset you.” But Dean was shaking his head, hugging the painting.

“No. No, you didn’t…..I _love_ it.”

Cas felt a huge weight lift off his shoulders, hope fluttering in his chest. “You do?”

Dean nodded, a hand scrubbing at his eyes. “It’s _amazing_.” He held it at arm’s length to get another look. Cas could see his eyes filling with tears once more as he took in each detail of his mother, of their child, and he shook his head. “ _More_ than amazing. It’s _perfect_.” He looked at Cas. “How did you DO this? I mean I know _how_ you did it, you’re amazing, but how did you _do_ it? How did you paint my mom?”

Cas was blushing. “I went through your photos….studied them. I wanted to get her just right.” Dean was staring at him; he felt himself flush even more. “What.”

“You went to all that work just to make this for me?” He looked so incredibly beyond touched. Cas could feel his cheeks burning.

“Of _course_ I did. I love you.” Before he had time to register what was happening Dean was pressing their mouths together in a hard kiss, putting every bit of love into it. Cas was breathless when Dean pulled away.

“I love you,” Dean whispered. Cas smiled, though he didn’t think he would ever stop blushing.

“I love you, too.” Dean pulled him close again and he laughed softly as Dean nuzzled his cheek, his throat. “I’m so glad you like it,” he said softly.

“I love it. Really, Cas. It’s perfect.”

Nope. Never gonna stop blushing. Cas pulled away and rose to his feet. Dean looked questioningly up at him but he merely offered a hand, smiling. “C’mon. Let’s go hang it up.”

Dean’s face lit up and he nodded, accepting Cas’ hand. The two moved to the living room, where Cas had already cleared a spot on the wall. Dean looked to his husband with a smile. “You already made room for it?”

Cas nodded somewhat shyly. “Just in case you liked it.”

“Cas…” Dean shook his head in exasperation. 

“What?”

“Don’t know how you ever could have doubted I would.”

“I didn’t know if—“ he broke off, looking away. 

Dean looked at him inquiringly. “If?”

Cas looked up at him. “If it would be painful…..seeing them together when it’s never going to happen.” He could see pain come into Dean’s eyes but it wasn’t the sort of pain he had worried about, the intense, crushing pain. It was a sort of gentle sadness. Dean shook his head.

“No, Cas. It does hurt, knowing mom will never meet Mary. But this?” He looked to the painting. “This gives me a glimpse of what it would be like if she could. A beautiful, wonderful glimpse.” He looked back up at Cas and he was smiling; his eyes were glistening again with tears, but they were happy tears. “I honestly can’t thank you enough. I mean that.”

Cas stepped closer, giving his husband a soft kiss. “I love you.”

Dean ran his fingers through Castiel’s hair, stroked his cheek. “I love you, too.” He smiled. “Now what do you say we hang this up.”

Cas smiled. “I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

 

**~*~**

 

Cas set the last plate in the dish drainer, drying his hands. “Dean?” 

“In here.”

Cas headed into the living room to see his husband looking up at the painting of his mother and his daughter. He came up behind Dean, wrapping both arms around his waist and resting his chin on Dean’s shoulder. “Happy?”

Dean nodded. “Damn happy.” He cocked his head, pondering the painting. “What made you choose this spot? I mean don’t get me wrong, it looks amazing, but you had to move a picture to put it here so….why this spot?”

Cas nuzzled Dean’s throat. “Cuz the only other available space was in the bedroom.”

“…..and?” 

The smile was evident in Cas’ voice as he answered. “….and I didn’t think you’d want your mom and our daughter watching us have sex.”

There was a moment’s silence and then Dean let out a startled burst of laughter. “You make a good point.”

“ _I_ thought so.” Smiling, Cas kissed Dean’s cheek. Dean hummed happily.

“So….” Dean let his head tip back to rest on Cas’ shoulder. “……care to take your husband to bed?”

Cas chuckled, pressing a kiss to Dean’s temple and murmuring “love to.” He pulled away, taking Dean’s hand to lead him to the bedroom but Dean paused, looking up at the painting one last time.

“You,” and he pointed a finger at his mom, “stay right where you are. There may be empty space in the bedroom but that room is off limits to you, do you hear me, mom?”

Cas couldn’t help a burst of laughter; shaking his head, he tugged Dean to him. “C’mere, you ass.”

Dean let Cas pull him down the hallway, laughing. He flopped back onto the bed, pulling Cas down on top of him, and the two of them didn’t leave each other’s’ sides for the rest of the long, lovely night.

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was pondering writing ideas and was thinking of something to do with Dean knitting and realized I haven't been paying enough attention to Cas. So here's a chapter all about Cas being a sweetie. Hope you like it!


	7. Mothers' Day

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Mothers' Day has never been an occasion for celebration. Will this year be any different?

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is dedicated to all the moms. Happy Mothers' Day!

“Dean?”

The house was unusually quiet. Mary had been put to bed and while it was true that once that happened things calmed down somewhat, it was generally pretty lively around the house. Cas remembered in high school how he had thought to himself that Dean was an unstoppable ball of energy. He smiled fondly. That hadn’t changed.

Yet despite that, at this moment the house was dead silent. Not even the clacking of Dean’s typewriter could be heard (he liked to use his high school Christmas gift from Cas when he could, no matter how much more laborious the writing process became. Cas thought it was adorable.) Cas peeked into the office just to be sure but there was no sign of his husband. “Dean?”

But he didn’t have to look much further. Dean was in their bedroom, sitting on the edge of the bed. “Hey, babe.” Dean didn’t look up, staring fixedly at something in his hands. Cas frowned. “You okay?” But when he got closer he saw what that object was and his heart sank.

Dean was holding a photo of him with his mother. He was only a year old and had an adorable Buster Brown haircut, a huge childish grin on his face. He was wearing an enormous puffy parka jacket and was wrapped securely in his mother’s arms. She was dressed for winter as well, a heavy woolen coat, a knitted blue cap on her head, and the infamous blue striped scarf. It was one of Dean’s favorite photos, but Cas knew immediately why his husband was currently in such a state. Tomorrow was Mothers’ Day. 

Cas silently sank down onto the bed beside Dean. He wasn’t going to push; he knew sometimes Dean needed to speak in his own time. Instead he simply stroked Dean’s knee, silently letting Dean know he was there.

It did something, stirring Dean from his thoughts. “I miss her, Cas,” he whispered.

Cas’ heart ached. “I know.”

Realization hit then and Dean felt a wave of guilt. “I’m sorry.” Cas looked at him questioningly. “You must miss your mom, too.”

“Oh.” Cas smiled softly. “I do. But it’s different. I think that between being older when I lost her and then also….” He fell silent for several moments. “….the cancer,” he said at last. “I would never say it was a good thing, but it wasn’t like your mom…sudden, you know? She didn’t go right away. I had time to get used to it….to come to terms with the fact that I was going to lose her. And I think in the long run, that helped me adjust to it when I DID lose her.”

He looked to Dean and was taken aback to see the expression on his face, the complete and utter sadness there. “What?”

“I’m sorry.” And oh no, now Dean looked like he might cry.

“Hey, hey, no.” Cas pulled Dean close. “Why are YOU sorry?”

“I always get so upset about my mom; I never give you time to talk about yours.”

Cas felt an overwhelming combination of sadness and frustration. “Dean…” He held Dean at arm’s length so he could meet his eye. “You DO talk to me about my mom. You are so supportive. I mean that. And I meant every word I just said about her. So if I’m ever really upset and need to talk to you, I will, okay?” Cas gently stroked Dean’s hair. “Trust me.” 

Dean stared at him; after a moment he nodded. “Okay.” He seemed to believe Cas, though, and that was enough.

“Besides…..your mom was special, right?” 

Dean swallowed, nodding. “Yea. She was.”

“So you SHOULD talk about her. Whenever you want to. And I’ll always be here to listen.” Cas smiled. “Promise.”

Dean’s face broke into a smile; he shook his head. “How the hell did I get lucky enough to have you choose me?”

Cas couldn’t help but laugh. “You’re such a dork.”

Dean grinned “Is THAT why you chose me?”

Cas shook his head, smiling. “It’s definitely a part of it.”

“Oh, good.” 

Cas ran a hand through Dean’s soft hair. “Hey. How about we do something nice tomorrow?”

“Oh?” Dean leaned into that touch. “Like what.”

“I don’t know. Doesn’t even have to be anything fancy. Can just stay home with Mary. Maybe take her to the park. Take one of those nerdy carriage rides.”

Dean laughed. “Oh? And what’s the occasion?”

“Mothers’ Day of course.” Cas said this as though it should be obvious. “We have a little girl. It counts.”

Dean stared at Cas for a moment before letting out a burst of laughter. “Okay, then. Which of us is the mommy?”

“Both,” Cas answered.

“…..both?” Dean arched a brow. “And how exactly does THAT work?”

“Well OBVIOUSLY we both have to be the mommy so that we can both get the holiday!” Again that tone of voice, as though Dean should have known this. 

Dean was clearly trying to bite back laughter; he shook his head with a grin. “So on Father’s Day, are we both the dad?”

“You got it.”

Dean couldn’t help the laughter anymore; he leaned in for a kiss “I adore you,” he murmured.

Cas face was aglow with happiness. “The feeling is more than mutual.”

And when they went to bed that night, curled up together, Dean’s heart had lightened considerably. He and his husband had a beautiful baby girl. Neither of their mothers would ever meet her but he knew that they were looking down from above and that both felt nothing but love.

He felt Cas’ fingers run through his hair. “Whatcha thinking about?”

Dean shook his head. “Nothing. I’m just happy.”

Cas smiled, heart fluttering to hear the words. “I’m so glad.” He gently kissed Dean’s forehead. “Sleep, baby.”

He listened as Dean’s breathing evened out as he fell into a peaceful sleep, only then letting himself slip off as well.

 

**~*~**

 

Charlie woke up to the feeling of Bela nuzzling just behind her ear. “Mmm,” she hummed. “Great way to wake up.”

She could feel as well as hear Bela chuckle, pressing a kiss to Charlie’s flesh before pulling away to plant one on her lips. “Morning, love.”

Charlie smiled up at her wife. “Happy Mothers’ Day, gorgeous.”

Bela offered up a bouquet of lilacs. “Happy Mothers’ Day.”

Charlie’s eyes lit up and she shot up, grabbing the bouquet. “Oh my God!” She pulled the blossoms close, deeply inhaling the scent, eyes shut with pleasure. Bela smiled to watch her. Charlie’s eyes opened and she looked to her wife, face aglow. “You remembered.”

“Of _course_ I remembered. What kind of wife would I be if I didn’t remember your favorite flowers by now?”

Charlie laughed. “It’s not that. It’s just that they’re not your typical bouquet flower.”

Bela rolled her eyes. “Believe me, I know. The florist gave me a terribly hard time when I asked for them.”

“And yet you did anyway.” Charlie climbed out from under the covers, crawling to Bela and into her lap. “My wonderful wife.”

Bela blushed. “Shush.”

“No.” Charlie planted a big kiss on Bela’s cheek. “I have a surprise for you, too.” Bela arched a brow, waiting. “Lauryn and I are taking you out today to _La Vita Gustosa_.”

Bela’s eyes lit up. “Are you serious??”

Charlie nodded. “I know you love it.” She promptly found herself flat on her back with Bela pinning her to the bed, kissing her hard and deep. “I take it you approve?” she managed breathlessly when Bela pulled away.

“I most definitely do.”

“Ma?”

Both women turned to where Lauryn had wandered her way into the room, one tiny fist rubbing at her sleepy eyes. Bela immediately pulled off of Charlie, letting her up. “Good morning, baby.” She rose, heading to her daughter and scooping Lauryn into her arms. “You and mommies gonna go out to lunch?” Lauryn couldn’t have looked more disinterested if she tried. Bela bit back a laugh, carrying their daughter over to the bed and sitting beside her wife, a smile on her face.

“What?”

Bela turned to Charlie, who was watching her with a fond smile; the ginger reached out and stroked her wife’s cheek. Bela smiled back at her, giving a gentle shake of her head. 

“Nothing. I just have the two most wonderful girls in the world.”

 

**~*~**

 

Cas blinked awake, tired eyes struggling to make sense of the blur before him and finally focusing on….Dean, holding a tray full of delicious smelling breakfast food.

“What is this?”

“Breakfast in bed.” Dean set the tray down on the bedside table and moved to fluff up the pillows behind Cas. “It’s Mothers’ Day, remember?”

Cas felt his heart melt. “You’re so sweet.” He could see color rise in Dean’s cheeks but the man said nothing, simply set the tray in Cas’ lap.

Dean had gone all out. It was positively ridiculous. Pancakes, bacon, eggs, a glass of orange juice….Cas looked to Dean. “You….” Dean waited expectantly. “You’re amazing.”

Dean was definitely flushing. “Not. I just wanted to do something special for you.”

“Yeah. And that makes you amazing.” Cas took a bite, eyes going half lidded with pleasure at the taste. “Oh my God, Dean. You’ve really outdone yourself.”

Dean was smiling, pleased. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I do. It’s great.” Cas paused with a forkful of pancake, then held it out. “You wanna share?”

Dean’s face melted into a smile; he scooted closer on the bed. “Don’t mind if I do.”

So they fed each other bites back and forth until the whole meal was done. Cas tried to take the tray but Dean snatched it out of his grasp.

“Dean! You cooked! Let me clean up!” But Dean shook his head stubbornly.

“This was a gift for you. I’m gonna take care of it.” And without any further argument he gathered up all the dishes and headed to the kitchen.

Honestly, that probably worked better. That gave Cas some time to put together a little idea he had…

 

**~*~**

 

The two returned from the park around one in the afternoon, baby Mary in tow, sound asleep in her carrier. They’d had a full day. They’d taken that carriage ride, but most of the day was spent spread out on a blanket. They’d had a picnic and fed the geese, even though Mary was still too young to appreciate it, and then Cas had sketched (mainly pictures of his husband and daughter) while Dean played with Mary or read aloud to the two of them. Nothing they’d done had been exceptionally exerting but they were exhausted nonetheless.

Dean set Mary’s carrier down, carefully undoing the straps and picking her up. “How you doing, baby girl?” He cradled her close, gently rocking her in his arms. She gave a tiny yawn and he laughed. “Aww, you tired?”

“Hey.”

Dean looked up; Cas was offering him a piece of folded paper. “Mary and I have a gift for you.”

Dean took the paper and his heart immediately skipped a beat. It was clearly a card, homemade by his incredibly talented husband. Cas had painted the front. Watercolors, it looked like. It was the beautiful image of two men backlit against a sunset, just shadow, but one of them was clearly Cas, judging by the messy state of the hair. 

“ _Cas_ ,” Dean’s voice was barely more than air, “it’s _lovely_.”

“Open it up.”

Dean obeyed and immediately felt his heart stop. Inside was a note from Cas. _To the love of my life, my husband. I love you, Dean. Always and forever._

But underneath that was the clincher, for right beneath Cas’ words of love was one very tiny blue handprint. Mary’s handprint. Cas had clearly taken some paint from his studio and put it on Mary’s hand, then pressed her hand to the paper.

Dean could feel his eyes burning; he looked up at Cas, who was smiling at him. “You…..” Then he looked down at their daughter, taking her tiny hand in his, and completely different words came out of his mouth than what he had intended. “You didn’t let our daughter eat any paint, did you?”

Cas burst into laughter. “No, I didn’t let our daughter eat any paint. I was very careful.”

Dean was blushing at having messed up. He was just so overwhelmed that the wrong words had come out. “I’m sorry.”

Cas’ brows went up. “Why’re you sorry?”

“That’s not what I meant to say. Just…” He looked at the card. “It’s so much. So….” He looked back at Cas. “It’s _wonderful_ , Cas.”

Castiel was smiling. “I’m glad you like it.”

“I LOVE it.” Dean looked down to the card again. “…..all I did was make you breakfast.”

Cas let out a burst of laughter. “Dean….” He stepped closer, one arm going around Dean’s neck, the other stroking Mary’s hair. “You’re good at cooking. I’m good at art. We each stuck to our strengths.” He paused, thinking, then grinned. “Actually, you’re good at _everything_ , so thanks for not going with cooking, baking, dancing, writing, and singing. I would’ve felt _incredibly_ inadequate.”

Dean cracked up. “You always think much more highly of me than you should.”

“Do not.” Cas leaned in for what was supposed to be a soft, brief kiss, but it soon deepened, lingering. It was only interrupted by a sudden knocking at the door.

Cas looked at Dean, perturbed. “Who could that be?” 

Dean shrugged, still holding Mary. He leaned in close to her, whispering “Sorry for making out with daddy while I was holding you.”

Cas tried his best to bite back his laughter, heading to the door. He opened it to reveal a flower delivery man. “Um…” He couldn’t find words at first, so surprised. “Can I help you?”

“I have a flower delivery here for Mr. and Mr. Winchester?” 

Cas glanced at Dean, who looked as surprised as he felt. “That’s us. I’ll sign for them.”

One quick signature later and the man was gone, leaving Cas with an armful of flowers. He set them down on the table.

“Who’re they from?”

“Don’t know yet.” Cas examined the flowers. There was a set of red roses and another of pink carnations. The roses were addressed to Dean and the carnations to him, both from…. “Claire??”

“Claire??” Dean sounded as surprised as Cas felt, but there was happiness there. “Claire sent us flowers?”

“Looks that way.” Cas finally found the card and read it aloud. “ _Dean and Cas—happy Mothers’ Day to the best moms (and dads) I know. Doing double duty better than anyone. Hope you have a great day together…..I love you both! <3 Claire_

Cas became aware that at some point during the reading, Dean had joined him, though for once he had remained silent. “She’s the best,” he said at last, and there was a soft smile in his voice.

Cas smiled as well. “She is.” He couldn’t believe that they had somehow found Claire….or she had found them….and she had given them such a wonderful gift.

Dean seemed to be thinking the same thing for he gently stroked Mary’s hair, smiling down at her. Cas stepped in close, stroking his cheek, and Dean looked up at him questioningly.

“You okay?” Cas asked.

Dean nodded, a smile on his face. “Best Mothers’ Day _ever_.”

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> I was originally not planning on a Charlie/Bela bit but last week's episode DESTROYED me so I thought Charlie needed a tribute. God. I'm still traumatized. Can't handle it.
> 
> THIS is a Buster Brown haircut, as demonstrated on West Collins:
> 
>  
> 
> [](http://smg.photobucket.com/user/el_snicket/media/west_zpso08ermvs.jpg.html)  
> 


	8. First Time

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> On break from college, Dean decides it's finally time.

It was a gorgeous summer day and Dean and Cas were home from college for summer break. As per the norm, they had been splitting their time between the Singer-Harvelles’ and the Novak’s. Dean was currently at Cas’ house. Cas wasn’t home yet. He had decided to major in teaching as well as art, so he had gotten a job at a nearby daycare. It clearly wasn’t a real job since he spent most of the year off at school, but during the summer he would work a couple hours a day in order to gain experience with the kids.

So Dean would wait for him at home, always impatient and missing him like crazy, but happy that Cas was doing what he loved. But today…..today was different.

Dean sat on Cas’ bed and fidgeted, his knee bouncing nervously. Cas would be home any minute. He would walk through that door, cheeks flushed, hair even more of a tousled mess than usual after a day of corralling kids, and as usual, he would move to strip Dean out of his clothes and pin him to the bed. But today, Dean wouldn’t let him. Today, Dean was going to be the one doing the pinning. For the first time ever, Dean was going to make love to Cas. He was going to be _inside_ Cas. The thought filled him with nervous flutters, but they were the good kind. Excited.

The door opened and Dean’s heart leapt into his throat; he stared with wide eyes as Cas entered the room.

“Hey, baby.” Cas shut the door behind him. “How was your….” He trailed off as he got a good look at Dean, at the way his back was ramrod straight, eyes wide with something akin to terror. “Baby, what’s wrong?”

Dean shook his head, forcing himself to relax. “Nothing. I just….” He reached out, beckoning for Cas. “…c’mere.”

Cas moved to Dean and accepted his hand, that worried look still on his face. “What is it, babe?”

Dean looked up at Cas, those green eyes nervous. “Remember what I said to you before…..about how it feels having you make love to me?”

Heat immediately rushed to Cas’ face. There was no way he would ever forget that moment. The gorgeous flush to Dean’s cheeks as he told Cas that he liked having Cas take him. _“It makes me feel….”_ And his voice was no more than a whisper as he finished. _“Safe. Loved. Complete.”_

Those words had meant _everything_ to Cas. To be able to give that to Dean. He nodded. “I remember.”

“And you said that you were fine with that but if I ever wanna switch it up….”

Cas nodded again; Dean took a deep, shaky breath and rose from the bed. Cas watched him with confused eyes as he moved closer. He opened his mouth to ask what Dean was doing but then Dean’s hands were on his chest and Cas couldn’t speak, silent as Dean whispered “Well…..I wanna switch it up.” 

Cas could have sworn he felt his heart stop. “I…..what?” he managed weakly. It was the wrong thing to say. Dean’s expression faltered and Cas rushed to fix the mistake. “I mean really? Are you sure?”

That relaxed Dean, the tension easing from his shoulders, and he nodded. “Yes.” There was a stubborn set to his jaw, a look of determination, and Cas knew he was serious. The expression in his eyes had a bit of a nervous edge to it but he was clearly resolved on the matter.

Cas cupped his face, one thumb stroking his cheek. “You’re really sure?” He whispered the question. Despite the look of determination on Dean’s face, Cas wouldn’t be satisfied until he knew for certain this was what Dean wanted.

Dean pressed his cheek into Cas’ hand and shut his eyes, turning to press a kiss to Cas’ palm. Long lashes fluttered as Dean’s eyes opened, and he nodded, a soft smile on his face. “I’m positive.”

Oh God. Cas was gonna lose it. He felt an overwhelming surge of lust and he curled his toes in his shoes to hold himself back. This was Dean’s first time topping. He was going to let Dean run the show. 

“Okay.” He kissed Dean gently, slowly. “Just remember,” he said softly, “we can stop anytime. Nothing you’re not ready for.”

Dean shook his head, an exasperated smile on his face. “Cas, if there’s one thing you should’ve learned after all this time…” he wrapped his arms around Cas’ neck, fingers twining in that brown hair, murmuring his words against Cas’ lips “….I don’t do anything I don’t want to do.”

Cas couldn’t help the laugh that burst forth. “Okay. Yeah. I should know that by now.”

“Damn straight.” Dean ran his fingers through Cas’ messy hair. “Now shut up and kiss me.” So with a chuckle, Cas did.

At first Dean was completely at ease. This he knew how to do. Kissing was a specialty of Dean’s. Cas was stunned time and time again by how skilled Dean was with his mouth. _His mouth. Oh God_. Now Cas was thinking about all the other things that mouth could do, trailing over his bare flesh, down his stomach, over his…

But today it was going farther than that and he still couldn’t believe it. He didn’t know if he had thought that this would ever happen. And he was MORE than happy with how things were, but that didn’t change the fact that this….this was special. Dean was trusting yet another piece of himself with Cas.

Dean broke away from Cas, their foreheads resting together as they stared into each other’s eyes, labored breath mixing. Then Dean’s hands began fumbling with the bottom of Cas’ shirt.

He was nervous at first, hands uncertain as he pulled Cas’ shirt up. But the noise Cas made gave him confidence and he slipped right back into his usual mode. This too was something he was familiar with. He could do this.

Dean kissed along the column of Cas’ throat, delighting in the hum of pleasure he got in return. He moved downwards, trailing kisses over Cas’ chest, all the places he liked best, teasing over his nipples.

“ _Dean_.” Cas bit his lip, trying to hold back the begging that wanted to burst forth. He would let Dean do this in his own time.

Dean had paused, looking questioningly up at him, but Cas shook his head. Dean frowned, straightening up. “Don’t do that.” He ran his thumb over Cas’ lower lip. “I like to hear you.”

A shiver ran down Cas’ spine at those words; he managed a nod. “Okay,” he whispered. Dean smiled and gave him a kiss, nipping gently at Cas’ lower lip. Castiel’s reactions, the shiver and the flush in his cheeks, along with the tiny whimper Cas let out when Dean nipped his lip, seemed to give Dean courage.

He pushed Cas down onto the bed and crawled on top of him, straddling his hips, and yanked his own shirt off over his head in one move. Cas was staring up at him with wide, surprised eyes, filled with lust. Dean felt a thrill run through him. _He_ had put that look on Cas’ face. _HE_ did.

With a groan he rolled down against Cas, grinding their hips together. Cas cried out. “Pants,” Dean said breathlessly. “Take off your damn pants.” He seemed to realize the position they were in and shook his head in exasperation at himself. He shifted off Cas’ lap and in between his legs, fingers fumbling with the buttons on Cas’ jeans. “Lift your damn hips, Cas.”

Cas couldn’t help a breathless laugh, but he obliged, raising his hips off the bed. Dean pulled them down in one swift tug and cast them to the floor, shoes and socks with them. His urgency and need was ridiculously sexy. Cas couldn’t help it: he wrapped his arms around Dean’s neck and pulled him into a bruising kiss. Dean made a noise of surprise but quickly got with the program, pressing back into Cas. The brunette wrapped a leg around Dean’s waist, rolling up against him, but he whimpered in displeasure when his naked flesh met rough denim instead of hot skin. “ _Deeeaaan_ ,” he whined.

He could see the heat filling Dean’s cheeks, but the man chuckled, gently kissing him. “Yes?”

“Take your pants off.” Cas’ voice was barely more than air. “I wanna feel you.” He rolled his hips upward to prove his point, the long hard line of his shaft rubbing against Dean’s hip, and Dean gasped.

“Yea. Yea, okay.” He shifted to do as he was told and actually fell off the bed in his hurry to strip off both pants and boxer briefs. Cas burst out laughing. Dean poked his head up above the edge of the bed, grinning at his boyfriend. “Shut up. Asshole.”

“YOU shut up. And get your cute butt back up here.”

“Gladly.” Dean clambered back onto the bed, on top of Cas, and rolled their hips together. “Better?” His voice was breathless.

Cas somehow managed a nod. “Much.” He tangled his fingers in Dean’s hair. “Don’t stop, Dean.” As much as he loved Dean’s mouth on his cock he was afraid that he’d never last once Dean was actually inside him. _Inside_ him. _Oh, God_.

“Dean, _please_.” He had told himself not to push, not to press Dean faster than he was ready to go but he hadn’t been able to hold back the plea for more. Having Dean above him like that, blonde hair tousled, forehead damp with sweat….he couldn’t hold back a pathetic whimper, almost a sob.

Dean’s eyes immediately went almost comically wide and round and he froze. Cas worried he had gone too far. “Dean, I—“ he began but he got no further for Dean was reaching, hand scrambling at the nightstand, digging in the drawer for the lube. Cas’ heart skipped a beat and then began pounding away; he shifted his hips, spreading his legs wider for Dean.

He could hear the sharp intake of breath above him at that action and then Dean was kissing him, all teeth and tongues and when they pulled apart Castiel couldn’t breathe. Dean was really taking control now and _God_ , was it turning Cas on. 

Dean slicked up his fingers, about to press them into Cas and then he paused. Cas looked up at him, face flushed, eyes heady with lust. "What's wrong," he asked breathlessly.

"I...." Dean hesitated. This was something he had done to himself many times before, stretching himself wide open with his slick fingers beneath Castiel's hungry gaze. He had done it to Cas before as well, mouth wrapped around Cas’ cock, fingers teasing over that sweet spot until he had Cas practically in tears with the pleasure. But he had never done it like this. Never done it with the intent of actually being _INSIDE_ Cas. It was all making him incredibly nervous.

Luckily enough, Cas understood without Dean saying a word. His face melted into a loving, understanding smile; he reached up and stroked Dean's cheek. "It’s okay," he said softly. "You'll be fine. You'll be _perfect_."

And somehow, those few simple words relaxed Dean immediately, as Cas' words always did. He leaned in for a slow, deep kiss, and gently pressed one slick finger into Cas.  
Immediately Cas' breath caught, mouth forming a perfect ' _o_ ' of pleasure, and just like that, any worries Dean had vanished completely. “Okay?” he asked.  
Cas nodded. “Okay. Keep going.”

Dean worked slowly but steadily, stretching Cas open. Cas’ back was arched as he rolled with the pleasure. He looked beautiful, absolutely beautiful. And he was beginning to get impatient.

“Dean…” Cas clutched at the bedsheets. “Dean, _please_.” His voice was pleading. It caused a hitch in Dean’s breath and he stared at the beautiful creature laid out before him. Cas’ skin was creamy pale and shone in the dim lit room. His cheeks were flushed, hair a mess, and his legs were spread wide, revealing….oh God.

Everything was on display. EVERYTHING. From Cas’ tight hole, slick with lube, up his flushed, hard cock with the drop of precum glistening at the tip. He was absolutely 

“Gorgeous,” Dean murmured. Cas looked at him curiously. Dean stroked his cheek and kissed him gently, lips brushing as he whispered “you’re _gorgeous_.”

Cas fisted his hands in Dean’s hair and his gaze locked with Castiel’s, full of desire that darkened them until they were a deep forest green instead of the candy apple shade Cas was used to. “Please,” he whispered. “ _Please_ , Dean.”

A flicker of that old nervousness flared in Dean’s eyes but he pushed it back, nodding. One hand slicked his cock with a few quick jerks. A hand slipped beneath Cas’ leg, pulling it higher about his waist and Cas did the same with the other, breath catching when he felt Dean’s cock brush against his entrance before pushing inside. He couldn’t help it, he gasped; it was something he had never been sure if he would feel or not, never known if Dean would want to do, and even having Dean just barely inside him felt better than it had any right to.

At the sound of that gasp Dean stopped immediately, worry creasing his brow. “Are you alright?” He sounded so nervous, almost scared, and it was easy to remember that it wasn’t just that Dean hadn’t done this with Cas, no, he hadn’t done this with anyone, period.

Cas ran his hands reassuringly through Dean’s hair. “I’m fine. It’s _amazing_ , Dean. Don’t stop.”

Dean looked mollified by Castiel’s words, slowly pressing forward. Cas couldn’t help another little noise, sighing happily and running his hands over Dean’s back. This time Dean didn’t stop, continuing until he was fully sheathed within Cas. His face was burrowed in the curve of Cas’ neck. Tentatively, Cas stroked that soft blonde hair. “Dean? Are you okay?”

“Yea.” The word was muffled but it sounded bitten off, as though it were hard to get out. “Just….. _fuck_. You’re so goddamn _tight_.”

Cas couldn’t help a laugh. “Now you know how I feel every single time.”

“ _Fuck_ ,” Dean repeated. He shifted slightly and moaned against Cas’ throat. “Cas….can I move?”

“Please.” Cas’ voice was practically a whisper. Dean felt so fucking good buried within him, hot and hard and holy fuck Dean was INSIDE him. It was still so hard to believe it was happening. Then Dean gave a tentative roll of his hips and the point was driven home. Cas’ fingers dug into Dean’s shoulders. “ _FUCK!_ ” Dean immediately stopped, opening his mouth to ask if everything was okay but Cas didn’t let him get that far. “ _Fuck_ , don’t stop, Dean. Don’t stop. Harder.” He wrapped his legs tighter around Dean’s waist. “Give me more.”

It was impossible to miss the surprise that flashed through Dean’s eyes, the heat, and Cas had a moment to wonder if part of that had to do with Dean’s love of being given orders but he didn’t have time to think about it for Dean was certainly complying. After that Cas could barely think at _all_. Dean had always been a handful in bed when he was on the bottom. Being on top was no different. He couldn’t bend Cas into the same pretzel shapes as Cas did him (Cas wasn’t NEARLY as bendy as Dean was) but he sure pounded him into the mattress just as hard. 

Cas couldn’t handle it; he was almost at the edge. Just the experience itself was so unexpected, it had gotten him hotter faster than he would have expected. But it was more than that. Dean was so fucking good. Every touch, every caress, every roll of his hips….he was hitting spots that Cas never even knew he had, and it was driving him out of his mind. “Dean,” he managed, hands reaching up to cup Dean’s face. The blonde’s cheeks were hot and flushed, forehead beaded with sweat. “Dean, _please_.”

In response, Dean took Cas in hand and teased his thumb over the head of Cas’ cock, smiling as Cas let out a whimpering sob. “What is it, babe.” Clearly any traces of nerves were long gone. Dean was smiling down at Cas. “You want me to touch you?” Cas couldn’t answer verbally, could only nod frantically, hands fisting in Dean’s short hair as best they could. “Okay.” He gave Cas a gentle stroke, then harder, hand moving in time with his thrusts.

“Dean…fuck, _Dean!_ ” Cas came with a cry, hips bucking into Dean’s hand and coming all over his fist. Dean was staring down at him with wide eyes, mouth slightly open, as if he’d never seen anything quite like this, and really he hadn’t. Cas was absolutely gorgeous and Dean was going out of his mind.

“ _Fuck_ , Cas.” Dean bit his lip as he felt Cas’ muscles fluttering, tightening around him. “ _FUCK_.” His hips snapped forward, a few more hard thrusts that had Cas’ head spinning, before he stilled momentarily, coming hard with a gasp of “ _Cas!_ ”

Cas’ head was spinning with an overload of sensation. He felt fantastic. Dean was atop him, panting, trying to catch his breath. Cas smiled and ran his fingers through damp blonde hair. “That was _amazing_.” 

Dean perked up, pulling away far enough to look at Cas’ face. “Yea?”

“Oh yeah.” And Dean couldn’t argue; the look on Cas’ face and his tone of voice had a dreamy quality to them. Dean couldn’t help but laugh.

“I’m glad you think so.”

That cleared Cas’ head somewhat. “Did you?” He hoped Dean enjoyed himself. _God_ , did he hope that.

Dean smiled. “It was _wonderful_.”

Cas pulled Dean into a deep, bruising kiss, filled with so much happiness he could burst. Now Dean truly had trusted him with all his firsts, and he had loved all of them. Cas didn’t know if he could be any happier.

They were quiet for several long moments, content to lay wrapped in each other’s arms, Cas stroking Dean’s hair. Then the blonde spoke up. “….I still prefer having you on top….” Dean actually sounded shy, which wasn’t like him at all, but Cas supposed it was to be expected. Dean could sometimes get shy when talking about this sort of thing. 

“But….I wouldn’t mind doing it this way once in a while.”

“Wouldn’t mind?” Cas teased. Dean gave his shoulder a smack.

“You know what I mean. It was nice.” He fiddled with the bedsheet. Cas smiled, stroking Dean’s cheek, and the blonde looked at him.

“However you want to do things, I’m fine with it. I love making love to you, and I loved having you make love to me.” Cas’ lips curved into a smile. “Though I must admit, I’ve gotten used to our usual way of doing things.”

Dean was watching him as he spoke. Now he perked up ever so slightly. “So….you wouldn’t mind, then?” His voice was cautious. “If we kept things mainly the same but I could top every once in a while?” His eyes were calculating as he watched Cas for an answer.

Cas smiled. “I think that would be _wonderful_.” 

Dean’s face relaxed into a beautiful smile. “Oh, good. I….that’s good. I like that.”

Cas chuckled. “Me too.” He leaned in for a soft kiss. “Now….what do you say we get washed up? We’re a mess.” His smile grew, turning into something a little bit wicked. “Then we can spend the rest of the afternoon in bed. Maybe I can pound YOU into the mattress.”

Dean let out a burst of laughter. “I think that’s a _fantastic_ idea.”

 

**~fin~**

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> There you guys go. Dean's first time topping! Hope you enjoyed it.^^


End file.
